JIALING!!

2011-11-09T16:49:00.004+08:00

not everybody can have someone by their side. someone who loves you more than they love themself. im so lucky i found mine. ilysm. ly more than i can say.

havent been blogging for more than 6 months.
these months were so wonderful. from trdo, performances, holidays, attachment and much much more. but mostly, they were wonderful mainly because i have him by my side.
prob gna do some really belated blogposts soon to keep all the memories here. but meanwhile, i have to finish the mp first:( boobye~

GEMS 6 Celebrate Dance, Celebrate Life [1st and 2nd April 2011]

2011-04-15T20:18:00.029+08:00

'My heart's Addicted'

~half of 'Only Hope' dancers.

SO CUTE HEHEHE!!XEPHRY TALL MAX!

the board only hope dancers made for me. super sweet luh!! every time i feel down i will take the board out and read. it was a really long journey. not as smooth as i thought it would be. i'm not the type of person who can control her tears very well. in fact, i cant control my tears at all. it caused me many embarrasing moments be it in ballet, in school or in dance. urgh. i know there's many times, in fact too many times that i couldn control my tears during trainings.. but im really thankful that all of you stayed with me throughout, bear with my nonsense and helped me soooo much along the way. despite the constant changes and everything, yall pulled it through. and especially ridz who have no ballet background at all took part in only hope. im so proud of each and everyone of yall. love yall and miss you!

really super grateful to have ryan with us through this journey. he taught us plenty and helped us alot to make gems6 a success. without him, we wouldn be what we are now. it was a really heartwarming journey. and at the end of the concert, we know our tears and sweat all paid off:)<

and ridz My first ever pas de deux partner. thanks sandy and ridz. learnt alot from this. trying to dance with a partner instead of dancing by yourself; spending time tgt to master certain lifts; spending even more time with each other to recap and practice tgt. certain enjoyed myself and gained plenty of wonderful experiences:)<

first time ever receiving so many flowers at a time. thanks all. CANT WAIT FOR GEMS 7 HEHEHE

now, when im finally down with this post, its actually 2nd of may already. HAHAHA~ procrastinated for a month. for now no.1 priority would be studies. im panicking already. year 3. left 6 weeks to pull my pathetic gpa before SIP. im gna be a full time nerd and mugger. jyjl!

2011-03-27T23:07:00.003+08:00

4 more days to GEMS6.

been dancing consecutively for the past 15days and 7 days or more to go. wish that i have stronger will and mental/physical power to full out everytime. i realised that at a certain period of time/moment/whatsoever, the sports complex will feel extremely stuffy and i tend to feel giddy and really unwell. and its not only me. but ohwell. bunk in tmr. i know i will love the smell of audi1. bought 17 tickets. apparently all on friday. cause saturday's tickets are sold out way too fast. ppl are asking around for extra tickets. and quite a few of us feel that a third show would solve the problem. the past 2 weeks had been rather tough and tiring on all of us. pimples are the evidence of stress, lack of sleep, stay in school from 9am to 10pm to dance. 6 days left till everything is over. i cant wait to rest well after gems, but then again. i am going to miss it. sigh.. being always stuck in my own world and being very blur, taking a long time to understand what people are talking about shows that im tired. was super not alert. i no like. it feels like im in a zombie mode most of the time.

did my hair today i think i look quite toot but its okay cause i cant really think properly. im thankful to everyone who showed love and care and offered help during the intensive period. wouldnt make it without each and everyone of yall. wonder how would my mom react when she see my dancing with ridz. hehehe. afterall he is my first ever pas de deux partner. ohyah. had ballet lesson today. and i dont really know how i did it. i was really in autopilot mode and when ms ang scolded me i didnt feel much urgh. want to take a1 this year. but im super not ready only know like 30% of syllabus. sigh.. 1 class per week. how to? too much things in mind too much for my poor memory to handle. i forgot to take receipt so that we can all claim back the costume money. haiyo. but its okay i shall head back tmr. i feel like puking. why? i lost weight too boooo.. need the rest. ohyah. i havent been eating meat for consecutive 4days. proud of myself. im on my way to being a vegetarian. slowly luh. its not a recently thingy. been thinking about it for a few years already.. dont wna eat animals lor got a problem with that? its like, a chicken happily pecking at its rice grains on the floor then someone grab it, slaughter it, pluck off its feathers, drained off its blood, and deep fry it. did the chicken give you the permission to eat it? okay im alil extreme, as i've said, i cant really think properly luh. but i know its part of life luh.. how the predator-prey thingy works and stuff. im not against anyone who eat meat luh its just myself. aiyah i dk why i explained so much hahaha. vebeen very very naggy these few days (and crappy too) im gna grow old to be a super naggy old women. who still want me? :( okay. i dont really care. you have to bear with me kay my prince.

spent money like nobody's business. i really dont really know where all my money went. will try to keep track. okay i should stop ranting. hope i wake up and i have the will to full out and not mark out steps anymore. i wna be a full out princess. HEHEHE.

ohyeah. field trip with bv 4e1 and 4e2. credits to david who took plenty of nice pictures in the botanical garden. i spammed the like button like nobody's business luh. okay bye.

2011-03-12T23:02:00.001+08:00

" RT @oQIANHUI "USA lost many lives on 9-11-01 and now Japan has lost more lives on 3-10-11. add the 2 dates together and you get 12-21-12" MIND FUCKED "

yeah. definitely. so people, please count your blessings.

Seriously, who gives much of a damn other than being annoyed when one eff their life and eff around just because eg... you hair loss are dropping slightly more than normal (not like you dropped your whole head from your body); you sprained your ankle/broke your leg and begin cursing the whole week (it will heal faster if you stop swearing lah); your finger nail broke; the bus came late; you took 2 hours to get home; the weather too hot/too cold/too wet.

just stfu lah kay?! i mean its okay to be sian and stuff but not to the extent one just keep whining over trival matters. why cant you all see that you are lucky enough? you are still alive and kicking and hell yeah plenty of energy to swear around and why not you all use the energy to do more meaningful stuff while you are still alive right?! people around the world are dying/missing/injured/losing their loved ones. we are still well for now. but who knows what might happen the next moment. so please please, treasure what you have now, treasure every second you have alive and safe. count your blessings you will be much much happier, i can promise that.

live your ~~life~~ remaining days to the fullest. make those days count and make it worthwhile. stay safe everyone.

HAPPY ALL 18 AGAIN

2011-03-11T02:34:00.005+08:00

HI HERE AT 2.45 AM.

went to surprise the bday boy. camwhored. card games specifically cheat, 5-10-15-ed, scissors-paper-stoned to come up with ways to make ivan consume more C2H5OH while keeping ourselves sane. it takes a willing party to drink those which are almost pure. not a fan of vodka or any alcoholic drinks. but i must say bailey's mint chocolate with milk mix is the best i ever had. yums.

limbs and face blushing, heart beating hard in the head, the bday boy was only halfway through our scrapebook and the NaCl2 solution starts coming out (under the alcohol influence with the help of some sentimental music).i know you love us hehehe.

BUT YOU BETTER UPLOAD THE PICTURES HOR! TSK!

OKAY.. thanks ivan for being the best buddy i could ever have. really glad to have known you for 12 years AND COUNTING. thanks for always being there when i need someone to run, swim, study, rot, eat, lame, emo with. thanks for always being so onzz (although i know you always reserved your time for me to wait for my text for me to call you out hahaha) as the saying goes.. if i were to remove you from memories, there would be a huge void in my life and it would be awkwardly different. even though we have plenty of awkward moments too luh HAHAHA) yup. thankful for you and joys and the usuals. would hold on to you all as long as i can.

period came but pms still lingers and it was mdm rao's last day of in bedok view. heart beats irregularly, my head hung lose, lost control of tear glands and eyelids weighed a ton thanks to one hour of sleep to last the whole day. Mdm rao is one of the best teachers ever. I miss her so much already. really wish her all the best in everything she do, stay happy and continue to touch more lives and nurture more children.

only hope-ed, dinner-ed with usuals. forgot to take pictures booo. reached home and ko straight. till now, im very afraid to read new about Japan's earthquake, tsunami and all those natural disasters. my heart is only strong enough to handle bits and pieces from friends and tweets. God bless them and the world please.

2011-03-05T16:47:00.002+08:00

gna replace my tagboard with formspring soon. tagboard is super annoying. formspring, yes. but not gna entertain anything rude tyvm :)

you're in the path i used to walk.

2011-03-03T21:19:00.021+08:00

CNY 2011.

chu yi at popo's.

albee trying to 'secretly' eat sweet behind my back. my baby. i made albee call me mamee. it sounds absolutely amazing.

did not take plenty of pictures over at popo's like we used to. busy mugging for tests thus only went popo's house for the first day. but, still loving chinese new year, all the gambling, chocolates, cuzzies, nygoodies. cant wait for the next cny again. its gna be soon time really flies like nobody's business.

chu4 - steamboat at ong's

the gambling is insane and crazily funny. inbetween A-K and hitting the pillar. what are the odds? glad that i no longer fan tai sui. won some dollar. biggest winner that night goes to ongwei, winning 90 dollars in a single round of inbetween. poor kh.. enemy of lady luck just happened to sit beside you that night. hehe. love the Usuals as usual:)

Ms Ang's 56

glad that i bought that cake. many of the girls went "im soo having that cake for my birthday". chocolate never goes wrong:)

oh! and i recently came to realise that quite a few of my dance friends are pisces. even ms ang is one too. the way the universe works is really amazing.

Melanie Says:
May 24th, 2009 at 3:29 am
I’m an early Pisces female (2/23) & I definitely feel *especially* intuitive, sensitive, dreamy, & the like. I also seem to notice a commonality among most other pisces I know, many of them men. Most of them seem to have a gentle, sweet, dreamy quality, & needless to say we get along very well! Back when I had a lot of friends in the art world, I had a co-birthday with a pisces friends & it seemed like every other friend that showed up was like “hey, you know it’s my birthday next week” or “in a couple days” or “in 2 weeks”. Meaning - a lot of our other friends were pisces too - pisces attract pisces! And there are a lot of them in the arts…. nuff said, over & out!

Read more: Are all Pisces intuitive? 2011

My 18 again:)

from my god sisters. lovemax:)

its a tradition this year for the powerpuff kitties to come at midnight to sing a birthday song. thanks jessie and bbbffxi. though i was prepared to seeing you all hehe but i really felt happy that night and i get to keep my first candle:)

what really surprised me was joys and ivan. giving me texts saying that they cant make it due to the main sems exams. and next thing was, ada ahm-chioing saying that she wna go to the toilet but asking me to go to the kitchen. looked out of the window and next thing in my mind i know was seriously, oh my god...... making H B D letters out of drawing blocks, showing it up to me wishing me happy birthday. how touched was i? very. totally didnt expect that. it was too lovely and sweet.

my three bestest friends then companied me to study throughout the night. with plenty of snacks, card game of cheat, heading down to esso to get red bull and instant noodles, the night was super awesome, with us laughing like mad at the slightest thing due to the fact that we are too tired and trying to study. but hey, it was productive:)

lunch treat at lerk thai from jessie and bbbffxi at bp. was kinda shocked that leongbing got me flowers. but its really super pretty luh i swear. red, bright/light pink, blue, white orange. one of the prettiest bouquet of flowers i ever saw. thanks lb:)

Post exams impromptu BBBFFXI outing:)

exams ended on tuesday, it was a so impromptu thingy on wed meeting at 4pm in the afternoon. city plaza's mee hoon kuey/ban mian/ u-mian for the super win please. one of the best i ever had. wanted to shop there but took super long to pick one dress out. sigh.. the previous time i went there i wanted to buy so many things luh.

went to art friend at like prob 7++ to find out that its already closed:( a wasted trip but not so wasted after learning our mistakes/taking pictures/more shopping(window) at bugis. and now, so many 'to buy' on my list.. but, art friend first.

love my bbbffxi luh. it was really fun/comfy. we say all we wanted to say and whats deep inside and yet, silence were never awkward. Thank God for my bbbffxi:) hehehe.

last but not least, went back to bv as a relief teacher on thursday(&onwards). thanks to david's help, i got to go back so quickly:) the feeling of being back was FREAKING AWESOME. i was totally elated. cant describe the feeling.. as i stood outside the staffroom, looking down at the boys playing basket ball at the parade square, it felt so familiar. it feels like im still a student in bv instead of a graduate of 2 years++. so nostalgic and sentimental. it still feels really good to see the teachers again. miss jane, ms sally ang, mr teo, mdm ho, mr goh and plenty others. all of them are so nice and friendly. made me realised that i really miss sec school:') there are quite a few new teachers too. i've yet to meet mdm rao and eat all the food there. watched the syf piece by mr bevan. miss those times i had my syf too. it was one of the best thing in government school. and and and miss the dance studio.

did data entry for the first two days. lost count of how many classes i did. each class ~40 students. had to key in their results for each question and sub question. tedious. but its kinda enjoyable and i got to experience those office work whereby people give you all the papers to do, and get a feel of what is life inside the staff room hehehe. might be co-teaching next week i heard. bless me.

JYJL!

2011-02-02T01:36:00.016+08:00

the most recent camwhore piccas from open hse. cornrolls by lavone, ultimate love.

wrinkles coming out.

hair getting longer and not nicely done for cny. too busy. school, ballet, dance. cny break = time to blog + relax alil + catch up on studies + finish all the to dos. hols come quick.

- xmas 2010

*meltzzzzzzzzzz*

odd one out. who?

less than three.

-1/1/11

-tp open house perf.

im still trying to get over this awkward distance when i take pictures with guys:/ but its certainly getting better... yeah.

MHA

-JOYS + ADA 'S 19 = everything with fries + ecp on JOYS bday > mn surprise + 85

-BBBFFXI 19. mn surprise + sushi teh (the 'pino' thingy was mad yums) + surprise in school during dance trainings.

-SDZ WAVES. their modern was mad good and awwwww. so motivated to improve. i have much more to learn and jy.

HEEEEHEEEHEEE (ahm chio again)

its cny eve cant wait to collect ang pao, wear my new clothes and eat all those goodies, enjoy the company of all my loved ones. however, even though its holidays, there's still plenty of things to do = freehand minor + major project, quizzes when school reopen, finish choreo, hardcore study for exams. im stressed up. i really wna do well in my studies. i wish i can not sleep and not feel tired/ someone offers me a pill that will allow my brain to function 100%. i really need to jiayou. buck up buck up.

HAPPY NEW YEAR PULL YOUR EAR IM LOVING 2011 ALREADY

2011-01-01T13:45:00.007+08:00

HELLO 2011 I SO WELCOME YOU AND AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!

2010 was kinda rough. ups and downs. the period before dawn is always the darkest. so after having a tough 2010, 2011 will definitely be so much better! :D orgays dont wish to mention the downs on the first day of the awesome year. the ups are having all my babies ard me, being there for me whenever i need them.

-love my bbbffxi for being always here to for a hug whenever i need one and talking sense to me whenever im senseless and unrealistic.
- grateful for my super sc youknowwhoyallare for being here anytime anywhere whenever any of us are in need of someone.
- happy that i still have my usuals ard. time spent with them is always the most comfortable.
- kudos to bbffixi and jessie ikanbillis to have to listen to me whine about my heartbreaks. rest assure that i will not whine so much this year.
- lovely time with tpde dancers dancing tgt and we brokethrough tgt, i know. and im really super ultimate happy about that.
- thankful for my nice until cnt nice classmates in sch and all the people i met in 2010.
- thankful for all my awesome teachers in sch and dance for guiding me along.
- ultimate love my sister awesome times blading with you and all those times spent with you during this year and all those htht, be it happy or not. you're one of my emotional pillar. you made my 2010 easier <3>

everything happens for a reason and all that happened is starting to make sense and all falling in place. ohwell. i guess its all for the better?

in 2010 i've learnt plenty of things. soo much.

i've learnt that i shld (most of the time) follow mind instead of heart. follow the more logical way.

i've learnt that if you want something, the whole universe conspires in helping you to achieve it, if you follow the omens. dont neglect them.

i've learnt that prioritising is very impt. never neglect the impt things/people in life no matter how busy you are. being busy is only temporary, when the people are gone, its forever.

i've learnt that once the opportunity is there, GRAB IT.

i've learnt that nothing is forever. be it you're rich or poor, smart or dumb, lousy or good.

i've learnt that hardwork is the key.

i've learnt so much more to list.

looking back at my 2010 NYR :

1) STOP

a) skipping lectures. :)
b) switching off alarms and going back to sleep. :/
c) procrastinating. :/
d) sleeping in lectures. :/
f) wasting money. :(

2) DO
a) do tutorials :)
b) pay attention in lectures :/
c) sleep early (okay contradicting myself now) :(
d) upload pictures FAST :)
e) reply text instantly :(
f) be a better daughter :)
g) be a better friend :)
h) be a better girlfriend :/
i) be a better student :)
j) dance harder :)
k) get better gpa :)
l) saving for my license, dslr, career, iphone :(
m) keep closer contacts with arif :(
n) try my best to hold my tears :(

erm actually not bad luh huh. have quite a few smiling emoticons heehee.

for 2011 NYR i gave up trying to hold back my tears already. i really have problems controlling my tears. even ms ang and the ballet girls are now making fun of it hahaha! seriously i dont wish to cry at some occasions but i really cant help it.

2011 NYR - BE A BETTER PERSON.

simple huh? but this includes pulling up gpa further, dancing harder, saving blahblahblah. HAHAH. ohyah and to learn from my mistakes in 2010 and not to repeat them again. orgays..

2011 im excited for you.

First dance video that got me tearing.

2010-12-22T23:22:00.002+08:00

even though its not the first time im watching it.

2010-12-20T23:58:00.001+08:00

happy sc 1st year

this is insanely good. too good.

2010-12-20T12:54:00.000+08:00

CONTACT 2010

2010-12-17T19:50:00.004+08:00

eyebags from midnight oils.

JESSICA!:) she was so awesome seriously.

(i realised that when i take pictures w ppl (mostly not girls) i have this really awkward distance between them :/ must stop this soon HAHAHA)

SHOUYI!:)

SENCAI!:)

YONGDA!:)

SHAWN!:)

doo said that they were like gna prepare to dance again. hahahahahahahah!

i'm really glad that i went down for the show despite being the termtest week. the show was so good seriously. i was so inspired. the concepts were amazingly beautiful, especially the second piece of dance (with jessica as one of the dancer) the first dance was kinda creepy, but in a good way of course. the third piece was a one man show and the last piece (by the 6 guys) was really interesting and the music used, has parts from merry christmas mr lawrence (bv syf music) in electroguitar(?) form. triggered much memories though.

it was definitely a good break from termtest and having so much fun with doo, being ultimately thick skinned, camwhored throughout the whole trainride home. hahaha. it was the best time i had for weeks and it certainly put the emoness to an end. now hols are here, but not free. have to choreo for the showcase w my bbbffxi im so excited for it, finish up two projects, revise for the next half sem, read some books, finish learning marriage d amour, dance aloooot, finish the book i borrowed from bbbffxi, celebrate xmas and newyear and plentyplenty moreeeeeee. 2 weeks not enough luh. ohyah. two drawings to be submitted tmr better start work now.

tsk dont bother reading im crapping. this is what studying too much did to me. hahs.

2010-12-13T13:25:00.003+08:00

no fb and twitter till exams are over @4amheartstring/bbbffxi did the awesome job of changing my pw for me but i just realised that i could still get through twitter hohoho. craving for fb now. whatever. 5 papers to conquer. i can do this if i inject more focus into myself but im always not focused during the day whereas late at night during those ungodly hours when half of the earthlings are sound asleep then i can concentrate and boomz i mug like a hardcore mugger. alright not an excuse to blog here but im online to research on my mbio test topic two and three which i practically knows nothing much about. hahaha. getting kind t.o. by whitechoco lately cause aiyahh long story but seriously, i.t.i.d.a.b. yadayada. oh and last thing, having pretty much nightmares these few days which are very very annoying why cant i have sweet dreams and dream of my prince charming and whatsnot, to make up for the harsh reality that prince charming will never appear/it will take sometime for somebody to take my breath away and give me butterflies in my tummy haha but i guess i should learn to be smarter now to follow my mind instead of the heart which is a super no brainer which always goes wrong. okay last last thing i haven been dancing for quite sometime i need to stretch and i need to heeeheeehee with my bbbffxi im so excited. im looking forward to the hols alr just need to get the exams over and done with pls amituofo and i need to get the hep jab, the womb cancer thingy jabs and donate blood who wna come with me?

2010-12-02T03:53:00.004+08:00

"The beauty of love and marriage isn't the romance and the flowers, it's the down and dirty. It's the fighting, the baring your soul to one another, the tears, the apologies, the embraces, and the realization that the love is still there through. That you've always been there. " - JingYi

Friends would definitely be a better choice for both of us now so that we can both focus on more important stuffs in life. Even though the ending part was tough, i must still say that those times together with you were awesome. I will miss those times we had together. Those fun and laughter, hugs and kisses. Those days where we were rich with time with little commitments and those days that we had each other. I thank heaven for letting us to be together even though its only for a short period of time. But nevertheless, it was sweet. Everything happens for a reason. I've yet to find the reason but i guess I learnt alot from this relationship. Let our memories stay happy and pure and our friendship will survive much much longer than our relationship. I'll miss you and I still do love you. but i guess it will be awkward tell you directly. so its time to move on and let time do the job. jiayou in everything that you do and we'll both focus and achieve higher goals.

JYJL!

2010-11-28T01:23:00.005+08:00

i've said all i have to say. i see no point in suffering here alone anymore. not worth it anymore. i was damn wrong. wrong from the start. too impulsive. thought that you were the right one. thought that we were really awesome. thought that i would really last with you. thought that if i try to change things back for the better you would at least try to cooperate with me. thought that you would at least would try to get me back. nothing. i was too blinded to not see that you no longer feel for me. hahaha. all guys are the same. sterotype so? none i met yet proved me wrong. once the kick is over its over. so i am here, still emoing long time big time by myself and you gave no hoot about it. seriously?you didnt know what to do? so im supposed to know? im hanging in the middle of nowhere desperately trying to grab hold of things but what you did you do? pretend nothing happened? seriously. i had enough. i would be damn dumb if i continue to suffer by myself. enough of all these. i dont deserve any of these at all. and since when did i became so aggressive? when am i ever gna learn my mistakes. jialing study please study hard. i cant afford to let anything pull my grades further down already. mind over matter mind over matter.

those who made me cry are not worth it. those who are worth it wont make me cry. why suffer when i can choose to be happy?

2010-11-26T21:35:00.005+08:00

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,
'Coz I got time while she got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even.

Her best days will be some of my worst,
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first,
While I'm wide awake, she's no trouble sleeping,
'Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even, even no.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Coz she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks
no it don't break even, even no.

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love
while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces,
(Cuz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain,
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh.
'Coz you left me with no love, with no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,
'Coz I got time while she got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break, no it don't
break, no it don't break even no.

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces,
(One still in love
while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces,
(Cuz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even)

Oh, it don't break even, no.

how to start following my mind and stop responding to heart? i cant stand myself seriously. if it was other people i would keep brainwashing them to get it over and move on but i cant do so myself. i never learn. im so stupid. but i really really dont want to move on. but i dk what to do alr. i need to study. but i cant concentrate. my eyes scanning the notes trying to get them in my mind but my thoughts are filled with rubbish. i know. years or months down the road, im gna look back and scold myself for wasting so much time and being so dumb. i should move on. i should be smarter and know that its going no where. if he wants me back he will get me back. i should stop expecting. stop thinking that a miracle will happen. but i cant let go. what else can i do other then to wait and wait. but i know. i wont wait for long..

2010-11-19T20:32:00.006+08:00

HAIR MAKES A DIFFERENCE..

trimmed my own bangs. like uneven only. haha. gna chop off those super dry parts of my hair. photos are deceiving. my hair like nice here only.

hair makes a big difference.

you see?

illusion.. chubs/sunken.

bye. im gna be a happy mugger. enough of thinking rubbish, intense blading,running,whatsoever. my legs with 5/10cents of darkmarks. mug until term test is over. everything will be happy, good and awesome once again.

You're only the best i ever had.

2010-11-14T15:19:00.005+08:00

im tired. of pretending that everything is alright. something is wrong. is it that people dont realise it, or is it that they are pretending as well? its really frustrating me. cause i really dont know what to do. its in the middle of nowhere. i tried to do something but hell, it changed nothing. nothing at all. im really amazed how nothing changed.

someone tell me what can i do, what should i do. im really lost. I love you and miss you. Well, when’s the last time we told each other that?

Im sick of all those times when we actually pretended to be alright and happy and everything nice else while in fact, we dont mean more than half of the smiley faces we gave.

When is all these gna change? It really sucks when i tried to do something but it only end up with me being the one trying to look for trouble and stirring up things but no one will understand how frustrated i am and what leads me to behaving like this, like a stupid bitch.

Think about it. which is worse? Someone who tries to make a fuss so that things will change back for the better, or someone who’s not trying to do anything for the situation. Im really frustrated. i dont want to let go of anything that was oh so precious and meant so much. But how can i put it across? I dont know how to do it. i would hold on as long as i could. But if its getting nowhere, why should i? Maybe this is just the post honeymoon period. And i really need to adapt better at all these.

im capable of holding things like how you did as well. but if i do, where will we be going? we promised not to keep things. and im not planning to. but if this continues, we're gna both explode soon.

this is prob not the year for any romance. well im just gna give my best shot at it. at least i know that i tried my best. at least, i tried.

With every kiss and every hug, you make me fall in love.

2010-10-27T00:31:00.007+08:00

sunday - went home tgt after dance :)

monday - late and cabbed to school. sessioned at audi area, lunch tgt w barbara and caught up w bbbffxi i love it when you hang out with my friends :)

tuesday - met after dance for 85 barchormee :)

wednesday - popeyes and the other guys after commbased :)

thursday - companied me for lunch and asked me about the 'baby' in my phone HAHA! :)

friday - went to find bbbffxi for an awesome large cup of yoguru :)

saturday - sessioned at my house and dinner :)

sunday - went home tgt after your dance, my tuition :)

monday - life as we know it at cathay :)

tuesday - prata after school before dance briefing :)

wednesday - study session tgt im so excited and looking forward to it :)

i have no idea how we managed to meet up sooo much without getting sick of each other. if im single and looking at my friend's blog and they meet up so often, i'll go like " eww? how they do that? omg meet up so much if its me i sure cmi one" but time flies when we're spending time w the person we love and we didnt really realise it until like today.

its not like we planned all these ahead. its mostly impromptu. we sqeeuze all those little time out for each other, be it an hour or two :)

having so much meet ups now is kinda good. cause after all these we both can fully focus on studies and go full gear without constantly thinking of you and stuff in school.

im thankful for whatever things that happened between us and outside us. we stayed strong. it made us stronger. and our r/s will continue to grow based solely on the feelings we have for each other regardless of all the negative feedbacks we received. thanks for having faith in me in many things i do, be it good or bad. thanks for giving everything you have for this r/s. i'll learn to be more sensitive, use lesser of my lappy for useless stuff and reply you faster so that you wont have to keep checking your phone hahaha! you didnt ask me to do so, i know. but i want to. just need a little time to adapt :)

less than three you so much. 10 and counting ;)

on a side note, i had my first freehand drawing lesson today. "freehand drawing".. so i could use my left hand instead of my usual right hand to draw freeeely... not. all those 3 dimensional ways of looking at every objects, staring at a cold hard chair for almost 0.75hour in a cold room. gosh.. i thought it was going to be interesting. hmm.. i hope i score well.

You're the first and last thing on my mind :)

2010-10-21T04:32:00.009+08:00

CBP IS FINALLY OVER!

after more than 4 weeks of trainings, the juniors put up a great show at junyuan secondary school just yesterday for tpde's community based project. i cant stop myself from having multiple goosebumps sessions watching them perform. seriously, damn proud of all the juniors. through this hols, we all grew stronger and tighter tgt. looking forward to GEMS 6 we can all dance tgt its going to be so awesome :)

to dearest small bimbos : ive typed one whole chunk of stuff and realised that i've told yall what i felt in the letter alr. in summary, i LOVE yall soo much, Nathan, Nicola, Cindy, Stephanie, Jolene and Joanne:) yall were such an adorable bunch of juniors. thanks for the awesome training days tgt :)

to dearest big bimbos : really glad to be able to work with both of you:) its just so nice and fun and so much laughter with you all around. idk if im bimbotic to both of you, but both of you are definitely bimbotic to me. but still, i love both of you soo much, the super big barbara bimbo and blur prissy bimbo. hehe. both of you made the journey easier

and lastly, to my dearest dearest babyboy. thanks so much for being there for me throughout this whole journey/holiday. making trips down to tp to session/wait for me to end dance just to have dinner tgt before sending me home. even though at times you were tired from waking up early for school or dancing so hard, but when you're by my side, you were always so happy and cheerful. you never fail to make me smile whenever i'm feeling moody. and thanks for making me laugh even though you very annoying. heeheee. thanks for all those advices you gave me ive learnt soo much from you. more than i could ever learn from other people. really glad to have you here cause you made the journey a whole lot easier and better :)

im seriously, sooo going to suffer from FWS when school starts again :( with my timetable 9-6 on mondays and 9-5 on tuesdays, im still waiting for the rest of the timetable to be out. i'm going to study damn bloody hard. harder than i ever had. but i was hoping for a slacker timetable though :( cause for both of us, our weekends are burnt, with dance and family time. we only have weekdays to spend time with each other, prob study tgt kinda stuff. when school starts next week, i'm gna have a hard time getting used to not seeing him whereby during the hols, we see each other almost everyday. cause for now, we're making use of every chance possible to spend time with each other as we can still afford to. but next week onwards, school is going to be the number 1 priority already. grrr. cant wait for hols again.

blogging at this timing is insane. anybody ever clean their hamster cage at midnight too? its equally insane. thats what happens when theres no government at home. body clock screwed few more days before school.

i dont care what they say, i'm in love with you.

2010-09-26T17:27:00.019+08:00

HELLO BELLO IM BACK LIKE ONE MONTH PLUS PLUS LATER HEEE~

let pictures do the talking♥

32 Degrees Fahrenheit @ ECP during blading sessions w mIssIe_chong = ultimate shiokness.

POST EXAMS GOOD FOOD + JESSIE BELATED BDAY LUNCH

see our faces you can see that i really mugged like some ass. red bulls + overnights chionging + staying over at jessie to celebrate her bday and study tgt + tons of power naps. i mugged like kinda hard (its the hardest ever in my poly life), my results still wasnt good. well, at least i showed improvement. and i must mug even harder next sem. i know i can do it. JYJL!

but i still must say that mgen main paper SUCKED TTM. i hardly complain about how tough the paper was cause usually i would think that its my own fault for not studying harder/i could done better with more studies. but seriously. the paper is such an ass. why must they screw our 5CUs? i feel damn annoyed for people who scored bad for mgen cause the paper was really bad and plenty didnt score well. and i love studying mgen. but the main paper really _L

PERF FOR MOONCAKE FESTIVAL @KEMBANGAN CC

'BLACK VELVET' with Dini, Wenhui, Florence. Ms Ang have her own piece :]

seeing ms ang dancing the cute dancing and singing on stage totally made my jaw DROP. seriously. she's always so poised and stuff in class. but she danced and really shake to the music is like ZOMG. and her outfits are so bling bling and sexily cute luh. super eyeopener luh! AND AND her singing was surprisingly good (y) she totally belonged to the stage. once she is on stage, she really shine please.

PICNIC WITH FREDDIE :] i must say its the best picnic ever. it was so fun and awesome.

plenty of people, plenty of kites, plenty of ants, plenty of love, plenty of fun, plenty of laughter, plenty of pictures.
HE TOTALLY GOT DAMN OWNED BY ME! HAHAHAHAHA! seriously. next time i might consider writing english characters on the chinese chess for him HAHAHA!

K. he did manage to catch up after consistent losing at the beginning. close match 4-3. of couse you know who won. HAHAHAHAH!! sorry luh but he is good for a beginner :D

freddie took this. he said "got the tai tai feel" HAHAHA! this is the "kena shocked by flash + trying to smile for the camera but too sudden" face lor! HAHA!

GOSH HE IS TOO CUTE!

MSIA TRIP WITH MOM SIS AND ALBEE

my new baby cousin. malaysian mixed vietnamese. like a handsome only okay dont play play. spot albee's leg in the picture. we've been trying to keep her away from the baby cause she keep wanting to carry him/keep touching his head,face,eyes,mouth,ears,nose/sayang the baby with extra-ordinary strength, which is painful to even see.

YEAH! new haircut. almost bangs + perms. the hairdresser overcharge me cause im a singaporean. i only realise it after asking around. should had insisted on big curls instead of medium. well oh well. whatever.

albee ran into the picture herself. we didnt prepare her for that. she's been soooo playful luh please abit cnt stand her. its tough to control her.

my mom is how i'll look like when im older. HAHAH.

tons of vintage buildings there and plenty of nice unique places. missing msia alr. @mIssIe_chong next time we go there must take more quality pictures and eat all the food there plus my wanton mee + the fried porridge and drive around the roads with the motorbike yeah! ♥

ALBEE NEEDS TO QUIT HER PACIFIER *XIU XIU XIAO*

she damn act/pose for camera. i swear. she didnt close her eyes accidentally for this picture. she is posing for it. HAHA!

when drawing her face is not enough....

awww. damn cute luhh!

new specs dude~ ♥>

the curls is after the salon styling. cant wait for it to get alittle more natural. it looks like hair wig/maggie mee.

yeah its been a long time since ive taken airplane. and im smiling from ear to ear when we're up in the sky. its damn beautiful. and its like im so close to heaven and flying pass/inbetween/ontop/ of the clouds. the feeling is damn awesome. its damn beautiful. sorry for being a noob luh kay. heehee.

its hardwork trying to pin albee down.

@PARKLANE MY FIRST LEGAL PUBLIC DRINKING SESSION

sister did my falsies for me hehehee.

it was fun/havoc/crazy. i tend to get very friendly when im high on alcohol, touching pretty girls' hair, complimenting them telling them they are pretty and got mistaken that i was one of the thai girls by one of the thai girls herself HAHA!

i love @mIssIe_chong sooo much. THANK GOD FOR THIS SISTER.

ohyeah. damn glad that ballet intermediate examinations was over. well, i got my own personal hairstylist that day, who gladly gelled my hair up damn nicely. but my bun which i tied myself was ugly as ms ang said. i dint know that i have to reach the studio an hour earlier. thus which resulted sister speed driving and damnnn kanchiong drove me to the studio. luckily theres still a little spare time for me to warm up and calm down.

jump start cream was a total waste of money cause i forgotten to apply them on one of my vital part of my feet. thus, feeling damnnn bloody suan during examinations. sweating like a pig didnt help at all with me forgetting steps/losing focus/do wrong steps/screwing up my free working/asked a damn stupid qns which i could just keep my mouth shut from the start.

forgot my own water bottle but thanks tons to ms ang who lent me her own bottle but in the end i didnt even use it. heehee.

well. to sum it up. i dint perform as well as i could had done and i was utterly disappointed. but its always like this no? during trainings you give 100% during exams you will only left 80%.

looking forward to advance one now. looking forward to it since forever the music are soooo damn awesome i couldn emphasize more on that. its damn lovely. even though its gna be tough. but the music is all worthwhile. unlike inter... damnnnnnn dry.

ohyeah and its a joy actually to participate in combase. the jrs are so cute and its sooo funny to watch them bimbo it out. its lovely to work with annabel barbara and prissy dear. its not so much about what we're doing. its about who we're with. im glad to have you two girls seriously. you two are so damnnnn nice ♥

you wont wna know how it feels like to travel for 3hours per trip to and fro the hospital and home, at least 5times per week, for chemotheraphy that lasted for hours. sometimes too exhausting/too late to travel back home, leaving your old wife, who is almost as old as you, whom you have been sleeping next to, for almost everynight since you got married, to sleep alone, having her to wake up alone, with no one at her side. not like you both could sleep well anw. but you cant help it. in a few hours of no chemotheraphy/sleeping/nothing to do/nothing you can do/you couldn do anything time, you have to repeat the cycle of having to go through the chemicals/knife/machines/whatever, hoping that it'll be a quicker session this time so that you can head back home early.

yeah im just vomitting all of my thoughts out. its really damn painful for me. to know that this kinda thing happen. he was always a cheerful old man. strong, muscular, charismatic, full of wisdom, kind, caring, the man of the household, and everything good and everything i loved. but now, too much of the bloody chemicals and travelling to remove the rebellious cells/tissues from his body tires him out so much that he's been stoning/dazing/staring into blank air so much, too often, even though we all keep it light and we all keep talking pretending that its not much of a big deal but fuck. im damn bloody scared. i really dont wna lose him. at least not to this sickness which the ''health/care'' people only managed to find out only when its at the 5th stage. this is too unfair. anyone who read this, please, pray for my grandfather, for him to recover soon. he is one of the few most respectable man i have in my life.

whoever is up there, please.. let him recover. he meant so much to us.

YOG IS AWESOME

2010-08-17T23:05:00.018+08:00

SHARRMAINE! :):)

enjoyed hanging out with this bunch of people during yog, so much:)

one and only~~ HEE

LOOK AT WHAT RYAN'S DOING? OMGOSH DAMNNNN HAPPY YOU KNOW HAHAHA. okay im siao.

WEISHAN!! :):)

seriously, both of them damnnnn sweet and cute tgt luh!!!!! :D

NICOLE! :)

LEYCIA!! :)

i cant stop thinking we all look like models here HAHA

SUPSUP HAHA

PRETTY GIRL I LIKE~ HEE

I SEE THIS PICTURE I WILL AHM CHIO ONE HAHAHAHA

MARIKA!!:)

THE EYE!

PRIMARY SCHOOL FRIEND COOL OR NOT?! HAHA!

REYNA VERY CUTE! :)

made some new friends during yog. i like~

wont be back till exams are over~

what makes one think that they have more rights to like somebody compared to others?
looks are freaking deceiving. means words may come out from the people you least expected.
as long as i know that i have bbbffxi and all my loved ones will be with me, all will be fine.

I would trade a thousand Tomorrows for one Yesterday.

2010-08-08T21:50:00.010+08:00

i dont like :(

i like JUMP START. makes you jump higher and more~
haha. tried this for ballet today, feet and legs were not as tiring/acidic as it was without using it. can sustain activities long. but still, one will still be tired, and catching their breath even after using this.
contains caffeine, ribose, creatine and others. thus, i think its better to use only when you need to perform well. you wont want to get dependent on it. its 20bucks for one small 45g tube of cream.
but, i doubt one will get dependent on it. although it does helps to sustain and boost, it doesn makes you fly. its just a mild effect~~~
to summarise, its worth a try though :D

before.

after. puizzzz. dk how it became so dirty luh.

i love to smell my ballet shoes and feel disgusted after that. its a love-hate thingy.

seriously, ballet shoes are sucha waste of money. literally.. like the demipointe and full pointe. its expensive, painful, and have such short lifespan AND you cant wear it out. (but anw, i realised that when your full pointe turns soft, dip them in water, dry it and they will kinda harden again. HAHAH. thats from my experience. cause i've spilt water over both my demi and full pointe shoes. HEEE)

LOVE. i cant wait to find an occasion to wear it.

none here beat the leotard doodoo got from japan. that one is ultimate chio.

random. i love the inner lining of my bag!!!! awesomely nice colour.

my doodoo is a wonderful photographer. not only that, she is smart and hanging out with her is simply awesome (limited vocab = repeating awesome. HAHAH)

LOOK CLOSELY AT WHAT JACINTHA DID TO MY HAIR. HAHAH. but i like~ i wna let her cut my hair pls its gna be so fun. its like my hair is too long. it doesn matter if anybody just give it a little snip at the tail.

like the wings on my back~ :):)

dirty soles. HAHA. anw, was really honoured and happy to read the captions of the photos;)

i love new shoes. heee. but not comfy to wear :(

lastly, i need a haircut.

i love you doo~ i owe you 4bucks heehee

anw, yog rehearsals were tiring but nevertheless awesomely fun. great people, great atmosphere, great company and the great list goes on.

but for now, im too tired to explain how awesome or happy i was. heeeeeeeeeeheeee. okay bye.

Nobody Ever Did It Quite Like You:)

2010-08-04T13:38:00.005+08:00

this album is freaking funny in fb.

i cant stop smiling to myself and screaming inside of me. im almost hyperventilating. so much so that i have to blog about it. omg. seriously. whenever i think about it, i cant stop smiling and get excited and yadayada. bbbffxi knows it all. SECRET OKAY! :)

can you imagine, im smiling while blogging all the way?~~

logically speaking, nothing should be attracting me there. after all those talks about booms, am, about me and foreigners, tall, blahblah.. it doesn really fit perfectly. but, i just feel very happy and excited. HAHAH. i hope this feeling last. i am really happy now. even though its just my own childish thinkings. but seriously, i haven felt something like this for a long time. (minus booms luhh. but booms too unrealistic alr) and who knows, it might just be an infactuation? a period thingy? and i might just forget about it next week?:/ (i guess only i understand what im saying here. cannot be too obvious HAHAHAH) anw, its really an awesome lovely feelng. its something different. its like something i want. its amazing. i dk how i got here too. but i believe something brought us here. hahahahahaha.

CANT WAIT FOR YOG REHEARSAL LATER!! :D:D

okay. smile until my cheecks kinda suan alr. but I CANT STOP HEEEHEE. shall go practise ballet~~

One More Month.

2010-08-01T17:57:00.003+08:00

after practising for almost 2years of rad intermediate syllabus(since after o's), my examination date is finally out. just having an outburst of emotions over here.

plenty of things just raced into my mind.

like, why did i skip my grade 8 during my upper secondary school years just to go to odt. haha. i must say that it mr dt definitely improved my techniques and flexibility, but ive missed my g8, and i might have to take it with the now g7 batch the year after next.

and why did i stop dancing for so long just for the o's, not that my results could be any better. seriously. if you really love to dance, dont ever ever ever, i emphasize, dont freaking ever stop. you'll find it damn tough to get back on track. the things you could easily do before, like all the splits and backarchs, couldn be done without massive pain. all the expressions you had, just disappear into thin air. a pro will also become lousy. unless you train damn hard to get back to where you had stopped at, not to even say improve.

like what ms ang always said, "you stop ballet for one month, you need 3 months to get back to where you were from."

its the beginning of august now, my exams is on the 30th. wish me luck. i really want to score this, get this over and done with and move on to advance. intermediate syllabus is such a bore. all the technical stuff. just first 3 exercises on the bar got me sweating(not forgetting my high metabolism rate). and the centre exercises with the most irritating excercise, temp lie, and dk who invented this urghish grand rond de jambe, and my unpredictable pirouettes (can do triple at times and sometimes not even passing single), those beats, allegro and esp the dance really requires stamina and no matter how frequently i blade i still cant pass it without finishing the exercises, panting.(guess i really need the jump cream.) my right grand jete is okay except that the left leg is just a disappointment.

ballet 4 times a week is not enough.sunday's formal class, tuesday's extra lesson, saturdays helping ms ang out (cant commit this for the moment due to too much commitments) and ms sandra ho's class. (ms ho's class is so fun and enjoyable, kinda relax as well, haha. and i must say that a few of the girls there were good. really jealous of those natural turners, high extensions, strong techniques and great turn out.)

and you know what, till today, im still forgetting my syllabus. such a disgrace.

and this month itself, with the yog performance, doing hiphop. haha. will i have muscle clash on what? how i wish my examination date could be on the end of september where i can have another month to just focus of ballet and all my lines. but then, i will then be seeing all my friends finishing their examinations and me still stuck on this boring syllabus.

nevertheless, im thankful that my examination date doesn clashes with anything, be it the yog rehearsals, performance, school exams, comm base or trip back to msia. im lucky that i still have a few days after yog perf before my exams and few days after inter exams for school examinations.

im damn freaking scared now. i wonder how will i feel one month later.
nuff said. 3 quizzes tmr. only done studying one. bye :(

anw, just read doodoo's blog. seriously, ive always wished that i could be trained as a prof dancer since young, or maybe even go to nafa or sota. not that i dont like my course, i really love science since young too. but being a dancer is much more appealling even though its a tougher life. okay. shall end this post saying i miss dancing with doo...~~~~~

You ever love somebody so much, you can barely breathe?

2010-07-20T15:48:00.002+08:00

SERIOUSLY, he's damn talented.
any song, you name, he play.

omg. seriously. if he were to play real life in front of me i think i'll evaporate~~~

We scratched our names into the sand.

2010-07-12T00:03:00.007+08:00

to: my dearest one and only bbbffxi
we look like this now.

we looked like this then.

hehe. we were so ugly. cant wait to watch wc finals with you later~~~ spain is soooo going to win. and i still haven tons of unglam pictures with me and many things to blog about you.

...to be continued during the hols less than 3

-EDITED- i freaking sad now:( i bet 1-0 on spain winning holland. but its abit too late huh. byebye my pointe shoes and my money. anw, spanish players are hot pls. csas test tmr nights :(

If we ever meet again, I wont let you get away.

2010-07-10T00:29:00.004+08:00

IM SOOO GOING TO CHOP OFF MY HAIR AFTER MY EXAMS..

i prolly look like this~~~~ HAHA

OHYAHH.. and jessie snipped off like around an inch of my hair tip this morning during practical lab. in that second that she was cutting my hair, even though its just an inch of my-long-until-i-almost-cant-take-it-hair, i still feel kinda heartpain.. not much difference except that when i tie it up into a pony tail, i can see two different ugly layers. maybe its just the way i tie it.. well.. and yah!!! had fun taking lab stuff home though, even though theres no use for it at all.

my tongue looks freaking weird~~~~~~~~

can you spot the am chio ness?~ HAHa. siao.

VERY LONG NEVER ZILIAN ALR PLS.

time is really tight now.

its like,

monday - reach sch 9, end sch 6.

tuesday - reach sch 8, end (forget what time) but have ballet 7 -10

wed - 9am in sch and end school at 10 w dance.

thur- 9am till 6 pm, audi till 9 plus 10

frid- 9am till 3, worked and freaking reach home at 12mn

saturday - ballet. omg finally no hip hop tmr! super damn long never see the kids alr miss them soooo much luh cant wait to see them in like another 9 hours time YAY! but still, stress pls.
and cant wait to see my albee and sister tmr YAYAYAYAYYAYA!
sunday - ballet again and try to chiong all my quizzes for next week.

i know ive said that im gna stop procrastinating but im here to blog not because im procrastinating its because i really need a place to rant so here i am yadayada its what a blog is for right. okay at least its what my blog is for.

and ballet is really like expensive pls. for one examination, you'll need one plain black leotard which cost around 60+, new soft pointe (40), full pointe (40++) tights (10++), exam fees ( 200++), plus all those extra lessonssssss. on a side note, i really want to teach albee ballet pls. okay damn random.

i need stronger technique pls. i haven been of a technical person only until like last year when i realised technique is impt. ive always focused on expression but i realised that one really needs the technique to impress. pls make me more hardworking. thats all i ask. just let me chiong until i die. hhahahah. siao.

ACTUALLY AND SERIOUSLY, I LOVE STUDYING. BYE.

YOU LEFT 4 DAYS TO FS ME!

2010-06-27T01:13:00.009+08:00

THIS LOOKS SOOOOO NOT ME. SUPER CUTE LAH PLZ. HOW I WISH I STILL LOOK LIKE THIS HAHAHA. REASON FOR THE HAT IS CAUSE IM ALMOST BALD.

human are like clothes and pets. the smaller the cuter. i cant agree more.

fgross itas lasagna.

ive got big forehead HAHA.

~~i know i look like china whore here :/~~

i have this red dot on my lower lip since sec one and elinor just noticed it recently. NORRR AHHHH!

i freaking look like my mom.

i know. this post very random.

its kinda like a pre-im-going-to-start-mugging-real-hard-and-not-going-to-come-online-frequently-post. okay. hope you get it.

before you miss me, here's many of my faces.

AND LASTLY!!!

LOOK AT THE DATE! ITS 27 JUNE ALR!! SO, THIS MEANS,

YOU'RE LEFT WITH 4 MORE DAYS TO FORMSPRING ME!! CLICK :)

ask me anything, tell me anything. i'll answer if its answer-able ;)

you can ask me, eg:

what is my weight,

how many teeth i have,

what is my favourite lab equipment(heeehee),

how many children i wna give birth to,

who is my favourite cartoon character,

how many times i look at the mirror per day,

how long i spent stoneing per day,

what is my dream job,

how much money i have in my wallet......

you can also tell me, eg:

you need a haircut,

i think you not tall enough,

i think you can turn out your leg more,

you need new clothes,

you need to sleep earlier,

i like your teeth (HAHA special thanks to dentist),

you very bhb.........

YEAH/ 4 more days. shoot :) [i wont know who you are!]

Cause when the Roof cave in and the Truth came out.

2010-06-24T00:17:00.008+08:00

say hi to albee again i miss her so fucking much. SHE'S SUCH A DARLING.

HEEHEE. i wore my ballet shoes on her. i know she loves ballet. (err. but her tummy abit big huh. eat too much. hahahaha)

grand battements attitude a la seconde. HAHA. born to be a ballerina HEEE.

AND HERE! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FROM EATTING HELLO PANDA!!!

I FINALLY GOT MY BRAZIL THE FIRST DAY WHEN SCHOOL REOPEN, LIKE FINALLY

and lastly, my booms song.

and i never saw him again :(

super feel like picking up ballroom waltz after watching this video lah plz. so flowy, gentle, light~~~ imagine booms dance with me. HAHAHA siao. i should stop fantasizing about him. haha bye.

Trying to be perfect, trying not to let you down.

2010-06-16T01:45:00.003+08:00

time really flies. its wednesday alr and hols are almost gone. bbbffxi will be coming back soooon like tonight! wonder if she missed me HEHEEEEE.

anw, caught karate kid last night, it was freaking awesome. i want my picnic and my supper too ;);)

going baibai and ajisen lunch with sister tmr. seriously cant wait. ive been craving for ajisen ramen since forever. sooooo looking forward to tmr with my sister. heeehee.

MODERN TMR OMG IM FREAKING LOOKING FORWARD TO IT ITS BEEN SO LONG.

im kinda sick of nuaing alr. and doing nothing. and im trying my best not to start watching drama cause i know i will be sleeping like 5am in the morning and wasting alot of time. trying to think of something productive to do so here i am -.-

facebook is getting boring. brazil against south korea. brazil will win cfm. or at least i hope. heeehee. and im saying this like ive said it before a year ago, im going to stay single. HAHAHAH. till im ready to accept someone new or till i meet someone like booms again that can take my breathe away. HAHAHAHA. zjl also not bad luh ;);) @ sister.

i must really improve alr. too slack in dancing. and its like im getting from bad to worse for ballet. 2 mths plus till exams. and i still cant rmb my syllabus what is this? the thought of taking intermediate exam really freaks me out. im really afraid that im so tensed up that day that i cant even do a freaking single pirouettes. and my pose turns sucks too. what if there is some damn dope ballerina in my group. what if i screwed up. what if i dont get a distinction i think i will kill myself. and i dont just want a distinction. i want a high one. okay i know its very eyes rollable but i really want to score damn mfwell. but with my standard now i doubt i can do it. my body is too lazy, to practise harder. and finally, ballet examinations clashes with school exams. i really wna score well for both. i need to.

i need more stamina. halfway through the dance im tired alr. and i need cleaner footwork, stronger technique. my grand battement devant really suckballs. and im very turned in. am really damn afraid of failing my pirouettes. its damn unpredictable. i can do en dehor i cant do en dedan. some days i can do triple pirouettes and some days i cant even pass a single. when im stress, i cant do. __ examiner can you be nice and smiley pls?

kay i shall start practising everyday. anybody wna session ballet? hahahahhaha.

Guess i rather feel hurt than nothing at all.

2010-06-14T00:43:00.007+08:00

While the floors underneath our feet are crumbling, the walls we built together tumbling.

Stop ignoring that our hearts are mourning. Stop pretending that it’s not ending.

I still keep your photographs, i remember how we used to laugh.

Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now.

did closing at heeren earlier on i swear damn freaking scary. its like all the shops are closing one by one and its my first time doing closing and im alone and its really creepy at night as there was hardly any people around. i was super lost about what i should do. thank god theres nice people ard who kinda waited for me. THANKS THOUSANDS.

super long never work at heeren alr. but i kinda like it cause there soooo little people ard in the mall and i get to meet some nice customers and chit chat alittle w them.

im sucha loser. perhaps its hols or something. too much free time, nothing better to do. perhaps its because i got stationed in a place that reminds me so much of you. perhaps its because i was reminded by people of you. perhaps its because questions asked made me think of you. perhaps its because the lyrics of many songs made me think of you. perhaps its just because im back to the place where we first met, the area that held so much memories of us, to me.

i know im stupid foolish naive dumb sentimental slow. i still love you. but in a different way. im jolly well over you. but i still miss you. i know this is damn random. and this is damn dumb. im feeling so stupid right now. it feels so freaking one sided. who knows you might had long forgotten about me. all along it was just me in my world with my wishful thinking. we were not meant to be in the first place. we were not meant to be for each other. i have so much on my mind. so much. . and no. i dont regret not wanting to patch things up with you. we will still be ending sooner or later. im better off and happier without you..but still, i really miss you so fucking much now.

hope the day will come soon. the day whereby this feelings i have towards you now will be gone. the day whereby i wont get conscious and think of you whenever im in town. the day whereby i can talk or chat online with you with neutral feelings. the day whereby i can let others into my life.

booms. faster come distract me pls. hahahahaha. you are the only one capable of doing so.

OKAY. you can formspring me now ;) FORMSPRING JIALING ;)

heehee. for limited time only. just for curiousity's sake.

And i wonder if i ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time.

2010-06-11T12:37:00.009+08:00

HAHAHA IM BACK~~~
i've procrastinated for almost a week. just nuaing at home, watching dramas till late night and waking up in the noon. im kinda lovin it. its like slowing down my life, kinda like shutting myself from the world and being alone. but now, IM BACK. need to pick things up again and get back on track.

've been blading with sister very frequently. kinda sick of blading at ecp alr:/ comeon comeone. let us see who we wna see EHEEEHEEE.
mamee's day celebration.

ECP WITH THE KITTENS.

HAHAHAHA JESSIE'S FACE

bbbffxi freaking cute! jessie and i were blading and ada was cycling, yet she freaks out when we go near her.

JESSIE MADE MY DAY at the skate park. freaking funny to see her fall. not in the bad and awkward way but the really funny way. whenever i think of her trying t get up the slope i will laugh to myself.

MY STUDY TABLE. FREAKING MESSY. dinner, notes, books, lappy, everything there. its the first term test that i've mugged like really hard.

SY'S PERF AGAIN! SY SHOULD EAT MORE TOO SKINNY!!!!!

TP GRAD PERF!!!!!! :D:D <3 tpde SUPER LONG NV SEE THEM ALR

SAY HI TO JACKY THE DOGGY he almost humped me. HAHA

i know he loves me. HEEHE

LB trying to be sexy.

albee took this. NICE RIGHT?! with my help of course.

PRETTY!

THIS WAS THE FATAL DAY SIS BOUGHT HER PRETTY BLADES AND WE SAW OUR LOVE

i miss booms. when can i see booms again. regretted being so shy. HAHAHAHAHAHA. siao.

PURE HOTNESS

2010-05-23T00:02:00.003+08:00

IM SOOO GOING TO BRAZIL ONE DAY GOSH!

went roller blading with my sister at ecp earlier on. sister finally got her skates and i find it really pretty. i should start saving for a new pair of pretty blades too. and there's problem with my phone too :( need to save for a new phone too rahhhhhh :'(

and i finally tried the slope at ecp scape park today. damn freaking shiok. even though i couldn go up smoothly yet BUT SOON I WILL. and i crashed real badly today cause i rushed down the slope real hard so that i can get up the bigger slope, and i dint realise that a bike was coming towards me. so i self crash so that i wont crash into him (or so i thought in that split second) i was worried we would crash. okay.. if you get what i mean:/

okay im not coming back till term test is over.

okay im going to reserve all my saturdays for my sister alr. i love blading with her ttm. i still cant stop thinking about the incident whereby the brazilian which we were ogling at for soooo damn long approached us. hahahahah! are we lucky or what? okay i not the kind who really talk about how good looking guys are, blah blah blah on my blog or anything but this one is really damn freaking smoking hot im not joking. and is super my sister and my type one pls. like the hair is literally bombs and the body is really phew and he is old, and he is FOREIGNER and tall and facial hair and freaking manly i like i like. and he asked for our names we were like im jialing and he was like oh hi jjiaa ring. then he said his name, GHJRTYBWERTYU i was like, oh! hi!hmmm... and before he left we had the cheek kiss or whatever its called omg but its like his sweat on both sides of our cheeks. and he was really freaking awesome with his stunts.

haiyah. but nice to look at but who knows he might just be another jerk:/ HAHAH

What are we waiting for?

2010-05-02T21:50:00.003+08:00

a song i listened to since secondary school HAHA.

I remember the days we spent together were not enough. I remember all the things you said that night that just couldn't wait. I remember all the games we would play and stayed out way too late.

And it hurts so bad sometimes not having you here.

Tonight I've fallen and i cant get up. I need your loving hands to come and pick me up. And every night i miss you, I can just look up. And know the stars are holding you, tonight.

TODAY WAS PRODUCTIVE. went for ballet class, passed down my inspiration, went to bcc to study. the study room smells like the same old study room. reminds me of those times we all used to go there to study for o's.

and i did the craziest thing i ever did in my life today. SERIOUSLY HOPE IT TURNS OUT WELL~

Porcelain and China Dolls.

2010-04-26T23:41:00.006+08:00

when ms ang was in tw :/ HEEEHEEE I LOVE YOU GIRLS. cant upload to fb yet ROAR. and im always wearing the same shirt. HAHAHA.

TODAY WAS TOTALLY DOPESHIT AWESOME!!!!! (:

+ our arms were waxed with scotch tape. which initially was used to wake us up in lecture but eventually we got addicted to the pain. HAHAHA. i kinda like my right arm now its more hairless and smooth (some parts only. many parts the hair refuse to come out) but there's still small red dots though. its really fun pain man! jessie can be my personal professional waxer alr. HAHA!

+ went for rock climbing trials. initially just thought of going there to have fun only. its been really long since ive rock climbed. i was pretty confident jessie and i will get in though, before we get there. 6th sense yknow. but after seeing the how high was the wall, and its kinda steep, i started to chicken out a little. not easy. kinda scary. 4 to 5 stories high. the first time i think i was the kinda abit very noisy HAHAHA. NERVOUS WHAT I CNT HELP IT. but kinda funny:D:D and you'll need to have strong arms muscles and fingers. i cant make it pass 5 nice incline pull ups. HAHA. but in the end we managed to get through the trial. second trial next week! gna go try my luck again :/ HAHAHA. the amount of endorphines released was ultimate shiokness plz.

+ went for mass dance at sports complex. really fun and awesome. love the dancers ttm. they are seriously the highlights. never failed to have fun with them around. all of them are such darlings. cant wait to do the actual dance though its gna be damn bnn dope.

school's at 8 tmr goodluck to me. after school stil have to go down to pioneer to tuition cousin HAHA. miss my now 8yo cuzzie though super long nv see him.

gosh. super busy. im tired. but im happy.

2010-04-24T02:26:00.004+08:00

introduced by yishu. RENJIE YOU SHOULD LEARN HOW TO PLAY THIS OMG.
cause im looking for music for some story line and this part kinda fits the part the lover die/ break up blah blah kind. HAHA

introduced by dini. fits the part when they're in love. dont give question marks cause i imagined all of it. HAHA.

my all time favourite! love this ttm.

i laughed at the talented guy even before he begins. but he is mad good.

lastly, my sms ringtone love it ttm. but still i reply very slowly -.- HAHA
JUST LISTEN TO THE MUSIC:/

I. NEED. TO. STOP. MY. BAD. HABITS. ~~ASAP~~.

Thats why i tried to keep at bay.

2010-04-22T03:54:00.007+08:00

contortionist.

so much of my not coming online..

was trying to study and its like really quiet so i guess i could take a little comfort by coming online which ended up with me looking at random vids online. so i saw this youtube vid and i feel like quiting stretching. gosh. she freaks me out. seriously.

but however they're kinda interesting so i did some research.

there are like fontbenders - those who are ultimate flexible when it comes to bending forward. and they usually fit themselves into barrel and stuff.

there are also backbenders - those who are ultimate flexible bending backwards. can be seen when they bend backwards and sit on their head. its shown in some parts of the vids. homygosh seriously im gna have a nightmare.

and they fit into small boxes too making use of every possible space available in the box. bless them.

based on what ive read, some said that contortionist are born this way. but if thats so it will be like "talent"? you cant train huh? if you send want your child to master contortion, well, send them to china when they are like 2 or 3 i bet they will become a great contortionist one day.

okay alittle crappy its 430 in the morning nights.

and he said, " I'll never hurt you."

2010-04-19T02:24:00.006+08:00

SCHOOL IS STARTING IN A FEW HOURS TIME.

really very tired but cant sleep :(

having a heavy pms i am serious down here DONT DISTURB ME I WILL EXPLODE. IM SERIOUS OKAY STAY AWAY FROM ME AT LEAST DONT DISTURB ME AS I AM TYPING THIS I FEEL DAMN ANGRY OKAY. IVE BEEN SUPPRESSING MY ANGER FOR VERY LONG ALR. AND THE MOST STUPID THING IS IF YOU ASK ME WHAT IM ANGRY ABOUT I DK HOW TO ANS YOU I DK MYSELF OMG. PMS IS NOT A KIND SOUL OKAY IT GAVE ME WEIRD DREAMS AND WAKE UP FEELING EMPTY, WALKING AROUND LIKE ZOMBIE, FEELING LONELY, BORED, ALONE, FEEL LIKE DOING SOMETHING YET YOU DONT WNA DO ANYTHING. just bear with me for a while. for my late replies no replies, sucky replies, for my crappiness, quietness or whatever ness. really very lost, aimless and empty. i dont know what to think. i hate pms. its so random.

but the good thing is sometimes i get really high and yeah. but seldom for this round of pms.

ANW.. on a lighter note, i was flipping my old stuff awhile back and i found this broccoli. my immediate reaction was like. 'omg? did i paint this?!' im so impressed and amazed. HAHA! and painting is like kinda tough cause you need to think and draw quickly sometimes even before the paint dries up. being a slowpoke, i usually take hours to finish a drawing. HAHAHA. but, of course i cant draw for goodness sake now. wonder how much money ive wasted on art lessons. HAHAHA!

yeah. school tmr. imma year 2 now. time to show the school what we are actually capable of yeah bbbffxi and jessie! okay not really show the school. but for ourselves yeah. this sem is kinda critical. if we repeat our mistakes this time round again i think we might as well drop school. no point studying alr. am sick of myself man. haha. nights.

(all the above are typed with high estrogen level)

Sometimes the Curiousity can kill the soul but leave the pain.

2010-04-11T01:03:00.018+08:00

31march tuesday - bcc ballet girls had their exams.

my face ever shiny.
all of them are real cute that day. exams are always so exciting, sometimes, scary. i rmbed i always freak out before entering the examination room and my hands always trembled doing plies. HAHA!

was wrapping sweets for them the night before. till 5am in the morning. had to wake up at 7 for their exams. almost died.

went studying with kent after that! kinda short but productive! (Y) he intro canele to me its damn freaking awesome. i dont feel like swensens anymore. HAHA.

the whole place is super nice lah! looove it there.

3rd april, saturday - brought albee to the airport! she's the queen that day!

camwhore is in our blood.

i love my sister ttm! :)

you see why she's the queen? albee loove to stuff the food in her mouth. like a little hamster. haha. if there's food in front of her she'll make sure she'll finish it by pushing it into her mouth even before she swallows.

i find my mom really pretty even though she's old:/ opps.

hanging out with the usuals, eating good food, taking pictures, roaming around town, b&j' playing L4D2. (Y)

polaroids wow first timers. HAHA

I LOVE MY BBBFFXI-N-S-BF :D

time spent with you guys is always the most enjoyable and kinda stress free. even though sometimes we might run out things to do and just nua, but its really comfortable being with you guys LOOOOOVEEE BEEVEEE USUALS
-

8april - met dearest hannah and her friends (: finally. really had fun and enjoyed catching up with the girl. haven seen her for around a year zomg. saw a spiderman kena bullied super poor thing, stalking a bunch of guys and camwhoring in the toilet. really enjoyed it just hearing them talk sucha cheerful bunch of girlies.

9april - LOPEZ'S 18TH.

last year he looks like 25 (to me) this year he looks like 23 to me. good thing to look chen shou wen zhong its a compliment!!! (: and that you're looking younger! (:(:

okay random picture:D camera was on low batt.

@muthu's curry!!! can you see the sea of red dishes? haha. i felt stress eating seriously. but was really nice especially the fish head!

10april - planned to study but failed thoroughly. woke up late noon, collected stuff, stalked someone, watched sister bully albee, visited mamee's friend at a sushi place real happy to see her its been soo long. went ecp to help sister burn fats after that.

i fell down really randomly while rollerblading. i cant rmb whens the previous time i fell down but i like falling down! saddist i know. but its kinda thrilling and while i was falling, many thoughts came to my mind even though its just like in a second thingy. funny thing is the only noise i made was my blades crashing to the ground. very random.

this was what rj did to me on my 17th bday. HAHA.

spent quality time with my sister i like!!!~~~ we held hands while roller blading^^ sweet huh? :D:D

i love my sister ttm again.

my hand's trying to cover my big and shiny forhead for the picture HAHAHA.

okay now i realised that my sister is really fully guarded! HAHAHA! but she dint even fall down or anything! (Y) she's quite a good skater herself too. yeah runs in the blood! :)

(: updates done based on photos taken. really enjoying my hols now. thanks to the people ive spent my hols and time with (:(:(:

life's too short. what if i die tmr? what if the world's gna end. regret kicks in not when you did something stupid. regret really kicks in when you wanted to do something, but you did not, and then you realised that its too late.

so, i came up with crazy things to do..

when i was younger, i used to walk from my house to bcc for ballet lessons. and most of the time, i would pass by this block whereby i would hear someone playing the piano. i've always wanted to learn piano from young and i looooove piano melodies. (actually mamee signed me up for piano lessons but dk why bcc cancelled the whole thingy :'( okay that was like 11 years ago.)

so, as i was saying, this particular hdb.. years back then, ive listened to this particular person playing the piano when i walk to bcc. when i was young, i've always thought of being friends with this person.

recently, ive been hearing this person playing again, and to my surprise, he/she is really good with it. or i must say that he/she had improved alot!!

so, as life is short, if i die tmr, i would have regretted not making friends with this person. this person who's passion for piano had him/her practising hard at home. i dk why but the idea of making friends with this person just really attracts me so much. im curious about him/her. like seriously. im excited to know about him/her.

call me a stalker. i found out where he/she stayed. OPPS. HAHAH. wasnt difficult. i can hear it from the melodies. OMG IM SUCHA STALKER.

and im gna write a letter to him/her. im really excited.

ps. i would appreciate it alot if you dont judge me. dont leave me disheartened. everything happenens for a reason.

i believe that he/she needs to attend school blah blah stuff but it just so happens that most of the time i pass by, i hear him/her.

well, i guess that, when i grow old, im gna laugh at myself.

if things goes on successfully we might be good friends. even if we remain as complete stranger after ive sent the letter, i feel stupid or silly or anything, at least, ive tried and i wont grow old regretting not sending a letter, and thinking about what might had happened and what are the great possibilities that might happened.

WISH ME LUCK THEN!

2010-04-04T01:02:00.006+08:00

im utterly disappointed with myself. like seriously.maybe its just my karma from years back when i was still childish and dumb.
but still, they might be like who i was years back. cant blame them too. its all my incapabilities. i was too soft, too lenient, too kind, too nice, too weak. i let them climb over me. i should be stricter, fiercer, harsher. but somehow i cant do it infront of groups. im not confident enough. damn. worse thing is im not good enough too. !#$^&* freaking frustrating. what can i do? what should i do? to salvage all these to gain back. i need to be extra hardworking pls. let me have the determination and motivation to push. i really need it. i need to have confidence. i need to stop thinking about what they might think of me. i need to push. im scared. im scared that i will fail, will not succeed. its this fear that prevents me from moving. i feel damn weak. from inside out. i feel damn miserable, pathetic. you guys will laugh at me. they will.. im pathetic.

okay enough. Fear of failing is worse than failing itself. i haven even fail yet. i need to have more confidence in myself i can do it. i need to be stricter, if needed, i need to be fiercer. i need to stand firm. dang. i can do it. if i really want it badly. if i work hard enough. all these are just challenges and test to help me reach my goal. GO JIALING YOU CAN!

tsk. seriously brainwashing myself here haha.

I'm only just beginning to see the real you.

2010-03-31T12:53:00.013+08:00

some saturday awhile back.. those babies had their exams yesterday it was awesome. their photos to be uploaded soon :D

my dearest ms ang (: even though i always kena scoldings from her but i know she love us and scolding is her method of teaching to make us a better dancer. and good thing is that im getting better at handling her scoldings cause it is not exactly scoldings its just a harsher way of teaching (to me)

most playful class (:

en l'air HAHAHA

all of them are such darlings.

24 march, thursday. roaming around singapore with bbbffxi ^^

taking tons of retarded pictures (:

super high in the bus HAHA.

25 march, friday. sentosa with the girls to celebrate wanjie's bday! :D

thank god that both sarah and i forgot our shades. at least we have each other for company.

we were really bimbotic that day. HAHA. looooove the dancers ttm. time spent with them is always awesome :D

HAHAHAHAHAHAH (Y)

whenever i look at this picture i will have this thingy that we're like some sort of movie stars or something and plenty of cameras everywhere taking pictures of us HAHAH okay think too much.

26 march, saturday. flashlightbatteries flea. bigger this time. we had prettier clothes this time but i guess competition was much higher with more stalls and another flea just right across the road-.-

the sun was WOAH. and i realised that i was burnt when i got home.

SEXY BDAY GIRL(:camwhoring in cab is becoming a tradition soon.

no chairs :( taking comfort in our luggage.

THANKS FOR ALL WHO CAME DOWN AND SUPPORT! (:

and yknow what? i took 4 hours to finish this post im sucha slowpoke.
im happy life is kind to me (: at least for now :D

2010-03-29T02:11:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY RENJIEEEEEE THIS IS THE SECOND TIME IM WISH YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN THIS SPACE TIME FLIES PLS HAHAHA.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RENJIE THANKS FOR BEING SUCH A GREAT FRIEND ALWAYS EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES YOU VERY QB AND BITCHY BUT MOST OF THE TIMES YOU VERY MAN AND HELPFUL AND ERM YOUR EYES ACTUALLY QUITE SMALL AND YOU VERY TALENTED. EVEN THOUGH YOU 18 ALR BUT I CANT FEEL THAT YOU ARE 18 CAUSE MAYBE YOU ARE TOO SKINNY? EAT MORE OKAY! AND WISH YOU GAIN SOME FATS AND MAY YOU MELT THE HEART OF YOUR FUTURE GFSS LIKE HOW YOU MELTED OURS WHILE PLAYING THE PIANO BUT DONT ANYHOW ANYHOW MELT OKAY? OKAY BEEVEEEASSASS FOREVER LOVE THE TIMES SPENT TGT DRAMAING WITH YOU AND ACTING LIKE SOME CRAZY SERIOUSLY. LOVE YOU! ENJOY YOUR LEGAL AGE AND ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE! FIND SOMEDAY WILL GO SP VISIT YOU HAHA! (so far i haven been to sp to visit you guys yet HAHAHA)

MISS BV PEEPS EHHH DAMN NEHNEH LONG NEVER SEE YOU GUYS ALR. okay erm like 18 days? YEAH!!#$%^&*)(

2010-03-28T01:38:00.003+08:00

life's kinda good. even though on wed, i woke up early to queue for an mc which results in me being half an hour late for work and then realised that the mc couldn be used. so i got another one at private and went to sch the next day to find out that mc is not needed. smart.

life's kinda good. even though i dk what happened to me im getting lethargic and not talking as much or as cheerful as i used to be. i think im a crazy hyperactive girl huh? but im getting quiet-er? erm maybe im just tired or that im not in the mood to talk.

ive been complaining too much to mommy and finally she is doing something for me. yeah she cooked papaya fish head soup today. you can roll eyes at me cause ive just done that to myself.
woke up damn early in the morning to company her to the market. love it haven done that for a long long time.

before i end this post, i think im gna turn a vegetarian soon? or maybe after i get married? (dont even know if i have the chance to get marrie. im really starting to believe that the world is ending in 2012 but the good thing is we'll all leave tgt instead of one by one at least i need not see mom leaving before me) yeah back to topic. i really gets turned off by meat. nowadays. omg. seriously. what is wrong with me?

EVERYBODY, ALL FOR ONE!

2010-03-24T22:33:00.013+08:00

TPDE GEMS 5 THE LABYRINTH WAS AWESOME! (:

feels really nice cause all of us are like kinda one big family(:

pictures are in really random order dk whats wrong with blogger i cant arrange them :(

surprise of the year! (: thank god theres seats available!!

i love my bimbotic barbara^^

TALL ULTIMATE! he's the tallest peer i ever had.

THANKS BEEVEE PEOPLE! hope you guys really enjoyed thanks alot for the constant support through the years man.

speeding car is the dope.

supposed to be an aha group pic with a few non aha members.

AWESOME CHOREOGRAPHER!

thanks jessie and birdie for the support!! OHYAH THIS REMINDS ME!!! JESSIE WHY YOU TEXT ADA YOU NEVER TEXT ME YOU MELT FOR ADA YOU NEVER MELT FOR ME OMG!!!!! :'( nehmind. bird and i very loving here HAHAHAHHA.

BEEVEE DANCERS <3>

AWESOME CHOREOGRAPHER! im in both of marika's choreo her no1 fan HAHAH! she's really damn awesome pls not just choreo but in the sense of how she made things works. from the costumes to the props to everything. and damn sweet of her and glenda for the cards. its like, shouldn we be the ones giving them cards instead of them giving us? HAHA. okay one more to do added to my todo list.

AND OF COURSE MY BBBBBBBBBBFFFXI OKAY YOU'RE MY SISTER NOW :D

MY DEAR~~~~~~ im in the alice in wonderland make up (y) HAHAHA

RYAN! seriously he's awesome. everything that he did made us really respect him alot and yet at the same time, we could have fun with him and he seriously made us laugh.

OKAY IVE DECIDED TO STOP UPLOADING THE GEMS 5 PICTURES CAUSE ITS NEVER ENDING! AND THEY ARE ALLLL IN FB! YEAH!

time really flies man. 3 weeks. and just like this. its over. 3weeks of hardwork, just for 2 nights.

but its worth it.

started off with the dance camp whereby many of us dont really know each other well yet. and i used to think that my barbara is kinda like fierce and stuff so dint really dare to talk to her. but during the three weeks, i've realised that she is actually not the kind of fierce bitchy girl, but she's a true blue bimbotic girl instead. thats a compliment man its really adorable. I LOVE YOU BIMBO BARBARA~

okay im just using barbara as an example hers is the easiest to state. HEHE. after the 3 weeks spent tgt, seeing the dancers everyday, we've shared each other's problems, listened to one another's stories, solved one another's worries, consoled, hugged, care and concern, buying bbteas for one another, helping each other with props and costumes, massage... EVERYTHING. we've did everything tgt for the past 3 weeks, almost 9am to 10pm everyday.

freak.. missing you guys badly now :( ohno. post concert syndromes.

i believe dancing is our passion. and we've been doing that for the past 3 weeks, together. how great is that? this is my definition of life. its not something that outsiders will understand easily. its not something that words can explain. its just like the wind. you cant see it. but the dancers, im sure we can all feel it. its not about the minutes on stage. its about the moments we spent tgt back stage.

and im confident that no matter what happens, the tpde will be there for one another. well, at least i know all the girlies will be there for one another! i cant wait for friday!!!! :D GNA SEE THE DANCERS AGAIN! YAY. my eyes are dying to look at you guys. my arms are dying to hug you guys. ~~my fingers are dying to go around dingdongdingdong~~ miss all you girls :(

OKAY i think i better stop before i sound like a lunatic tpde fan. erm.. maybe i am one. its the first time i feel sooo bonded to a group. just like how christians are faithful towards Jesus. yeah, literally.

I LOVE TPDE TTM!!!!!

2010-03-20T01:05:00.002+08:00

okay shall do a simple post.

GEMS 5 WAS TOTALLY FREAKING AWESOME and can you believe it? its the best day i had so far for this year. AWEEEESOOME!!! TPDE IS DOPE SHIT MANZXSSSZZX!@#^&*

AND THANKS EVERYONE WHO CAME TO SUPPORT!!! THANKS MY DEAREST ALG, KJ, SY, PQ, JOYS, IVAN, OW, NEVIN, SY, ZJ, DOODOO, LY, YY, HT, MANDY, DENNIS, GRACE AND FRIEND REALLY HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED THE PERFORMACE AS A WHOLE! THANKS D FOR THE FLOWER AND BV DANCERS FOR THE CHOCO REALLY TOUCHED AND !$$%^&* OKAY SHALL CONTINUE NEXT TIME.

BUT IT WAS REALLY DAMN AWESOME I COULDN FIND ANY REPLACEMENT FOR AWESOME! I LOVE ALL THE DANCERS YOU GUYS ROCK BIG TIME!

RYAN IS DAMN AWESOME TOO REALLY RESPECT HIM TTM!

MAY TMR BE A GREAT PERFORMANCE AS WELL!

Settled for the less, now im ready for more.

2010-03-15T01:05:00.008+08:00

im into editing pictures nowadays. so, yeah. you can see that they are very much edited. HAHAHA. still a noobie so pardon me :/ i think i did a lousy job HAHAHA. any comments would be greatly appreciated.

i feel that the second picture is kinda intense but, im lazy to re-edit it. HAHAHA.

JACINTHA I WANT THOSE PICTURES!~~~~~

DAMN I CANT SEEM TO CHANGE MY BAD HABIT OF REPLYING TEXT FASTER!

okay just let me get irritated with myself. im so sorry. im not into replying texts. i meant i do reply text but err you guys have to wait awhile HEHEHEE.

looking back i cant imagine when i was younger in primary and secondary, i used to have my phone with me 24/7 and constantly texting people. whats the joy? i mean like, its fun and nice to receive text from people and everything and sweet texts never fails to make me smile whatsoever. but HOW DID I EVER MANAGED TO TEXT LIKE THE WHOLE DAY?!!! OMG. okay im just getting lazier now:/

anw, i think my mom is the sweetest thing on earth. she's damn funny and cuteeeeeee. i was singing mad loud at home and she shuts me up by saying 'your singing is damn horrible pls just dance can alr' HAHAHAHA. indirectly trying to say im a good dancer HAHAHAHAHA. okay bhb here. (but i really did shutup i know my singing is horrible:( ) had a mini heart to heart talk with her earlier on and she said that i deserve better. freaking touched man. like, i thought she would scold me for being stupid like how she did before. but she dint:) OMG I LOOVE MY MOM. cant wait for mother's day i wna do sth for her.

random : im having a mild swollen last toe and it looks really retarded.

: tumblr is cool shit omg.

8 days and counting.

2010-03-14T01:20:00.003+08:00

most girls are stupid and blinded when it comes to r/s, sadly im one of them. and i feel really stupid now. like how much more stupid can i get? haha.

but thats when we grow, learn our mistakes, become stronger, no?

for now, im really grateful and thankful for everyone out there for me, like seriously.

thanks bbbffxi for scolding me. thanks bbbffxi and jessie for listening to me and lending me your ears always ( i know its not an easy job heeehee ) thanks supper club. thanks all the bv people. thanks all my beloved dancers for your support, care, concern and hugs (you guys are the sweetest thing on earth). thanks everyone who encouraged me. thanks everyone for your concern and being there for me.

you know i know who you are.

dk how can i put my feelings down in words. cause im really touched with every comment in fb, with every text, with everything. words cant explain how i feel now (maybe cause im not that good with words)

but without you guys, the recovery process would had been much more tougher. you guys are kinda like the fireflies in the dark part of my life? hahaha! yeah :/ in a way.

if everything happens for a reason, for now, i believed that all the unhappiness has made me realised that who are the important ones around me, who are those that really care and who are those that i should really cherish. its a blessing in disguise no?

concert in like less than a week's time OMG. am very afraid of having post concert syndrome cause im kinda using gems as a rebound :/ so im really concentrating on gems. haha.

for now, gna dance hard study hard:D IVAN YOU MUST GO LEARN HIPHOP WITH ME!!! anyone feel free to join its gna be hell fun :D very very very very excited.

2010-03-11T16:37:00.004+08:00

tiring myself is fail fail fail. falling asleep in studio is not good at all. you're mad tired, you reach home and with the comp in front of you, you dont wna sleep again. what is this?!

okay then i shall try hibernating then. shall hibernate as much as i can. tsk. dont sound like its gna work too.

gna create tumblr now :D YAYYYY!

-EDITED-
tumblr is fun! (: a place for me to distract myself. okay. gna stop tiring myself after tonight. gna sleep like a tortise and dance damn hard. i need to get back to my normal routine.

2010-03-11T03:34:00.002+08:00

HAPPY LEGAL 18TH MR IVAN~ HOPE YOU LOVE THE MINI SURPRISE :D:D
ENJOY YOUR DAY TO THE FULLEST YEAH LAUGH ALOT BE VERY LAME. ELEVEN YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP AND COUNTING YEAH!

Already Gone.

2010-03-10T23:37:00.006+08:00

'remember all the things we wanted. now our memories they're haunted. we were always meant to say goodbye. '

'it never would have worked out right.'

'i dint want us to burn out, i dint come here to hurt you.'

'i want you to know that it doesnt matter where we take this road. someone's got to go. and i want you to know, you couldnt have loved me better. but i want you to move on, so im already gone.'

'looking at you makes it harder, but i know that you'll find another.'

'you know that i love you so.'

'there's no moving on.'

freaking wished that i could do this item but its too late now. cause its kinda torturing to just sit down there listening and watching people dancing to this song. yes its a torture. but i cant move away or stop myself.

trying to make myself tired enough to drop dead on bed is major fail. i danced hard, ran hard, ballet, swam, danced again, cycled, overnight, moved everywhere, ran everywhere, burned my energy, sleeping at 8am woke up at 11am, danced, sleeping at 3, waking up at 10, danced, travel abit sleeping at 4 again, waking up at 8, dance. will i die earlier like this? ha.

its really tiring. freaking draining. anger could push me further but a weak soul just breaks everything. i couldn dance properly today it was like an empty shell. horrible, weak. and yet when i return home, i couldn freaking sleep again. fml, no? worst thing is i can freaking see myself losing weight. __

hate myself. im totally cui now. mftired during the day and refusing sleep at night. tell me wtf is this.

2010-03-08T23:24:00.003+08:00

i need to fucking tire myself out so that i can drop dead on bed and sleep.

Every thing happens for a reason.

2010-03-02T22:33:00.003+08:00

Temasek Polytechnic Dance Ensemble
Proudly Presents,
GEM 5, THE LABYRINTH
19th & 20th March,
TP Auditorium 1, 7.30PM
Tickets at $15

do come and support. its gna be awesome (:

I'm only just beginning to see the real you.

2010-02-27T00:49:00.019+08:00

25feb2010 after jessie and ada ended their paper

we had some good food.

and we headed off to donate blood (: IVE BEEN WANTING TO DO THAT FOR SO LONG SERIOUSLY. cause its kinda like a happy thing to be able to give some part of me to save life. and i think i have this fetish for my own blood and needles. i like injections and that feeling when tiny amount of blood coming out of your body and i like to taste the iron in the blood (except for mense )

and seriously, i was over over excited and being very nonsensical. i was really dying to wna donate blood but my mom dint allow me to. (she kept complaining i dont have enough blood for myself) and im was kinda worried that my weight wont pass.

so when i finally get to sit on this chair, i was super happy and kinda nervous and scared as well. afterall, its my virgin blood donating session. i guessed i went around telling every nurses close to me ' its my first time today!!!!' seriously was scared that they dont handle me with care and seriously, overexcited. HAHA.

and jessie, was ultimate relaxed. huge contradiction between us pls.

i was quite surprised to see the yakult thick needle going in my vein and feeling nth at all. kinda funny as well. so my blood flow through then vessels and sort of like stopped after half a bag or so. then the nurse kept on adjusting the needle in my vein. my veins are small so instead of saving three people per bag, mine was only enough for one.

okay i might sound cheapo but i really like the refreshments they had for us. i dk why. but really was tasty :/ HAHA

credits to bbbffxi for taking pictures and vids for us (:

and after which was meeting bird and heading down to fast east to get inked. so its like so many first times in a day ( it was also the first time i bought an mc )

nice place there. very comfortable and cosy (: HAHA

vernon. seriously a nice and friendly guy there. i think he is the most friendly one there. cause i was seriously VERY nervous. ( i was excited for blood donation but this, i was NERVOUS ) so.. i got kinda whiny :/ even before it starts. embarrasing.......... i had a hard time lying down. :/ :/ :/

kind of thankful that he tolerated me HAHA.

ethylene oxide - chemical oxidising agent for sterilisation? omg cant rmb it now. but we really crapped alot about all these science science thingy. like - 'oh thats an autoclaving machine!' 'anesthesia' 'does the needle goes to the vein or artery -ada' 'thats an disinfectant' 'listerine is an antiseptic mouthwash' even though exams are over. and its kinda irritating of us. but its rather fun! (:

thanks bird for patting head throughout.

thanks bbbffxi for letting urea and mineral salts stain your hands.

thanks jacintha for taking the pictures.

thanks vernon for those suggestions, tolerating, making jokes inbetween and after care thingy. doubt he will ever read this. HAHAH.

( and i think ive alr smudge mine feel like killing myself ) ( feeling kinda gao wei with it and myself )

more pictures on fb soon.

27feb2010

bbbffxi's tall, long and sexy day (:

really damn awesome place we went after watching wolfman. and its like a mixture of spiderman fail, twilight fail, kingkong oldies? HAHA. the wolf looks more like kingkong as stated by ada HAHAHHAHA. some parts did manage to give us a shock but others are sort of hilarious.

pilicup's. damn awesome. seriously. respect her from the heart alr. she's seriously ten times braver &/ stronger than me lah. pilicup i admire you man.

really enjoyed my post exams activities even though theres disappointing news every now and then. and there's people out there who made use of your trust. maybe i might really stop expecting alr. cause the higher you expect, the higher the disappointment no?

anw. to end this post, i shall say that i love the powerpuffkittens. ' im not a princess, this aint a fairy tale' AHAHAH. and lastly, the ring die, we die yeah? love you guys.

POST EXAMS ♥♥♥

2010-02-25T21:49:00.003+08:00

TODAY WAS HELLLLLL LOT OF FUN AND MANY VIRGIN EXPERIENCES AND TOTALLY AWESOME AND SERIOUSLY MEMORABLE.

okay todos:
+CREATE TUMBLR AND FOLLOW BIRRDDD! :D HAHAHAH!
+UPLOAD CNY PICTURES, AIRPORT PICTURES, TODAY'S PICTURES
+D/L SONGS
+EDIT VIDEOS
+DO A PROPER POST LATER AFTER ALL OF THE ABOVE

KAYZZZZCYAAAAA

(caps cause i am really happy and excited now cause its like freedom even though i still need to study but its still hols~ yeahhhh)

2010-02-24T16:09:00.005+08:00

I WNA BE LIKE THIS WITH MY BBBFFXI! (happy one month belated HEEHEE yeah dont strangle me(: )

WHEEEE IM BACK!!!! EARLIER THEN I SHOULD BE!! (cause im planning to retake my mst2 module)

letme release alil of my anger first..
feeling kinda pissed for today's hpi paper cause ive spent my whole 18th birthday studying for it and i dint even sleep for the night just to study for it (okay lah napped one hour) and i was rather stressed out by it so dint really sleep much and the paper was horrible (to me). memory blocked, what i memorised dint came out. okay conclusion is i feel that even if i did not study and went out to celebrate, the results will still be almost the same plz.

okay. finally able to relax a little. but still got tons of things to do. before next sem starts, i need to master mst2 and memorise my syllabus for inter! exams in sept! EXCITED VERY MUCH.

2010-02-24T00:00:00.002+08:00

worst bday so far.

These things aren’t as easy anymore.

2010-02-17T10:21:00.004+08:00

I KNOW SHOULDN BE HERE BUT I CANT HELP IT IM FEELING VERY ANGRY NOW DONT ASK ME WHY CAUSE I TELL YOU WHY CAUSE I HAVE A FREAKIN BAD NIGHT FULL OF HORRIBLE NIGHTMARES AND CRUEL DREAMS AND IM FEELING ANGRY CAUSE IT WASNT MEANT TO BE LIKE THAT OKAY.

I JUST NEED A PLACE TO PUT MY CRAP IF IM FEELING OKAY I WOULDN BE HERE. I WOULDN EVEN BE CAMWHORING LAH HAHA.
OKAY I NEED TO STUDY REAL HARD NOW GET AS MANY MARKS AS POSSIBLE FOR MY MAIN SEMS.

ANW. HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR, V DAY, SCHOOL REOPEN DAY, EXAMS COMING DAY WHATEVER LAH. BYE.

(ps see my house cny still so messy)

2010-02-07T01:09:00.003+08:00

will be back around 26 feb (: [but i still tweet frequently;P]

its the CHUK man's belated 18 post.

2010-01-23T11:12:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY CHUK MAN!!!!!

In case you dk what does CHUK stands for, here's a hint.. it stands for two countries. CH and UK. okay now i think you should know heeeheee :p fits you pretty well huh :D

hope you enjoyed yourself that day being the 'King Of the World' :D

anw. just wanna wish you a happy 18. you can finally do things legally.

and just want to thank you for being such a great and helpful friend for the past few years including giving us lobangs, tried to console me when i wasn having a very good period in life, taking good care and loving my bff and lastly, helping me with this blog! in memorial of you, i've decided that, as long as this blog exist, this chatbox will remain the same. WHEEEE. do you feel honoured? HAAHHAHA!

happy 18 birthday again. wish you luck in everything everything you do. wish you happiness. wish you can successfully change those essence of your dad's cooking skills into something solid. aiyah dk what i talking about also but you get what i mean lah.

LASTLY, i know you will take great care of my bbbffxi ty(:

This emptiness is killing me. And i'm wondering why i've waited so long.

2010-01-14T19:02:00.012+08:00

HELLLLOOOOO BELLLLOOOO~~
guess what??? (: HEEEHEEEHEEE

~
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~
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I NEED A HAIRCUT RAAAAHHHHHHH!

did this in school hahaha i like~

need to do something to my hair its growing looooong. i kinda like it but its sort of troublesome cause when i crawl to bed at night i will tend to like get caught in my own hair okay i dont know if you will understand, but yah :/ WHEEEEHEEE.

today was a rather sian day. school was sian for me for stupid reasons. notice that i zilianed out of no reason means im feeling moody. HAHAHA! and instantly, i feel awesome/great now. HAHA! siao.
self entertaining 101.

'was' sian to the extent that i put fake eyelash on one of my eye. HAHAHA! flower from bbbffxi! :* we two sian girls :D HAHHAHA.

and super tempted to eat this hello kitty biscuit.. BUT I CANT CAUSE ITS FOR ALBEEEEEE :'(

so i played with it and balanced it on my head. SELF ENTERTAINING RIGHT?! omg hang out too much with bbbffxi alr. HAHAHAH!

unglam ultimate. not easy to balance yknow! HAHA!

today, i had a wonderful adventurous dream. thus, i overslept for the 987654321 times. and went to school with the lt full and waited for a little while, lecture ended. so went to school early to waste time Agrhh. but happy there's bbbffxi and sharmini around and others others~~

for the similar and different reasons, me and bbbffxi became rather sian.

partially cause i was sleepy.. i am always sleepy nowadays dk why i cant manage to force my eyelids open. tsk. my will getting weaker over the years. i used to be able to study from like 7pm to 3am and wake up at 6am. now, i never even study and i can switch off 5 alarms without knowing it. (Y) :(

having this pms thingy when my menses just ended like last week? siao ahr and ive been snacking alot too. WHYYY?! got this urge to sweat the rubbish out of my mind. dont ask me what rubbish i also dk myself. i wanna go roller blading, running, swimming. i need to build up my stamina. i get out of breath more easily than i look.

okay. not going to come online that frequently alr. prob wont be blogging for very long need to mug till i drop for sems. if i dont do well pls kill me. tyvm.

and lastly !! im banning pearls from my life. i've been reacting very slowly nowadays. seriously. i even asked bbbffxi today what is ambitious. i went ' huh? ambitious?' wth lahh. banning pearls cause pearls are made of artificial colous. and i drink bbt like 4/5 days per week? so.. hahaha. i dk if it will affect anything or not, but whatever. im going to try to stop pearls. and see if i return back to normal not. HAHAHAHA!

and lastly, i love ballet. little stalker, enjoy (: (yknow who you are :D )

Timeless words, Priceless pictures.

2010-01-11T23:07:00.010+08:00

YOU KNOW BV I MISS YOU?! LIKE, SERIOUSLY?

this was like one year ago? we were all so excited, or rather nervous, to go back to school again to get our results. and im really proud and happy for my juniors getting back their results today. time really flies. those memories i had in bv still seemed rather fresh. okay better stop here if not i will start typing crappy stuff again. HEEE.

i never liked our secondary uniform. but for now, i really feel like wearing them. im miss wearing those uniform, folding and altering our skirts. i miss those times we reached school when the sun wasnt even out, i miss those times we spent in the classroom tgt, throwing rubbish at each other.

i miss sitting beside arif. being able to be just next to each other.

and those times we queue outside the labs waiting to cut eyeballs and frogs.

and the cutest teacher ever, mr goh.

most importantly, i miss you girls. like ALOT?!

and miss the happy and happening sec2 year.

miss bv so much suddenly, i think it was partially due to the girls who took back their o's results today. bv wont be the same anymore. very soon, the people we know there will get lesser and lesser. and what's left behind will only be memories.

even though im sort of enjoying poly life right now, making new friends and getting closer with classmates, but i must still say that secondary school is where i found all my close and true friends, where i spent my teenage years and where i grew.

i know im still living in the past. i've realised that i've been thinking alot about the past lately which is not exactly a good thing to do.

'The past is the past. it should be left behind whereas the memories should be kept. What we're concern now, is the present. Enjoy every moment of what you are doing now, even if it is insignificant - be it walking home from work or having lunch with your siblings. Enjoy it. Enjoy the present and welcome the future with a smile.' ~read this somewhere.

yes i should enjoy and appreciate everything that im doing. even if its blogging with my eyes half opened.

Cause the words closest to the heart, are the hardest to speak.

2010-01-05T23:22:00.023+08:00

currently addicted to this song, even though i've been listening to it for more than one year alr!!!! (Y) i love the lyrics. and it brought back alot of wonderful memories.

am busy. and going busier.
super ultimate hate it pls.

there's not going to be time for me to procrastinate anymore and by blogging will be wasting time too.

there's a test tmr, which i've yet to really know how to answer those questions which are going to come out. csas presentation on this thursday and im going to start from almost scratch when nearly everyone in the class had already prepared their slides and everything.

as usual, ballet on weekends and tuesdays which is good and i like.
but very time consuming:(

and lastly, from next week onwards, tpde is going to prepare for the upcoming concert in march, which means those involved will have to commit weekdays, 7 to 10. (heard that sometimes it will drag) and saturdays too. just pray that the timing will not clash with ballet.

super !@#$%^&* urgh.
how to study like this?! exams is coming up real soon pls. and not to even mention cny is coming up. tsk. even if we have the time, the toughest person will get also get tired and how to study properly?!!

but no matter what i will still reserve my time for bom and all my loved ones(:

hope that after all this, i will be able to master the art of time management.

feel so fortunate to have bbbffxi. suddenly. HAHAHA.random max.

think, once we got through this, everything will be nothing alr. till now, im still having phobia of r/s. im still very afraid of having a broken heart. so much to the extent that i dk if i should trust or believe or not. its rather pathetic. cause, you wanted to trust a person you love, but at the same time, you're afraid of falling too deep. and getting hurt all over again. cause, you will think too much. you are no longer you. and its making your heart ache frequently and by the time this thing happen to you, you know it is alr too late to back out. you cant back out. and you allow yourself to get hurt over again.

but, like what jessie said, this is what It is all about.. they say, once you're in love, the brain secretes whatever chemicals which makes you cant think properly, jealously, blah blah. you behave weirdly too. this is happening to me again. it sucks. maybe im tired, maybe im having mood swings. but i seriously dont want the bad memories to repeat. im freaking scared. but its all my fault, no one to blame. i chose this pathway. i should know, this kind of things might, would, happen one day.

i need a good brainwash. or maybe a memory loss. it will be good, for me:)

2010-01-02T03:33:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY NEHHHVIIINN!note the resemblance :)

couldn find a nice solo picture of you so. here is one of you in 2007 (if im not wrong) HAHAHHA.

seriously old alr pls. you're the first in our 92 batch to turn 18 and legal. and slowly, we will join you one by one. SCARY HUH. how time passes and kills silently.

and you're seriously damn good pls. your 18th bday can go back msia dk do what. HAHAH. you're supposed to celebrate with us!!

but anw, hope you enjoyed yourself. and you're legal age doing legal stuff.

woah. ive known you since the starting of secondary one, which means 5 years alr and 2010 will be the 6th year. FAST RIGHT. i still rmb we used to alight tgt from the same bus stop lah and you once asked me if i rebonded my hair or ironed my hair, why my hair so straight. okay lah cnt really rmb also. HAHAHHA.

anw, anw, just wanna wish you a happy 18. and thanks for being such a great and helpful friend. thanks for.. (okay shall not list down one whole chunk. ) EVERYTHING!!

wish you have a great 18 ahead and all the best in whatever you do(:

HELLO 2010 I WELCOME YOU! ♥

2010-01-01T14:06:00.012+08:00

okay lets summaries my last few moments of 2009 which i've neglected in this space.

FLB flea with bbbffxi on the 11 december.

pretty good experience. saw quite a few familiar faces and really thankful to those who came and support especially joys who stayed for quite awhile and brandon and junwei. if brandon you want the picture pls signup for fb HAHAHAHA!

Swan Lake @ the esplanade with doodoo ( + flea HEEHEE)

i officially love flea and doodoo after this fatal day. still cant help it but say that i absolutely loooove the swan lake music lah renjie pls go and learn how to play the swan lake music i guarentee you girls will come flying towards you. HAHAH.

X'mas with bom and his friends (:

am rather amused with the blurry pictures. met new people(: was pretty enjoyable with many first time experiences. really appreciate the fact that bom took great care of me. was rather touched and glad to have him with me the entire time.♥♥♥

Dance BBQ ^^

its been monkey donkey years since i've outings like this lah. so secondary school and stuff. i ♥ ! (: so cheena banana ahr me keep putting the heart shape. heee but whatever. but really missed times like this, all of us tgt, doing random stuff, giggling, camwhoring.. okay better stop before an essay comes out.

Gave bom a rose ( HAHA random totally)

met bom after bbq which explains the rather urgh hair. haha! (played volleyball during bbq) bom was sweet travelling alll the way down from the other end of singapore to the east. gave bom a rose with a piggy. its my first time giving a rose to a guy (if my memory dint fail me.) heeeheeeee. was rather shy and at a lost of what to do during the process. !@#^&* you'll get it lah tsk.

Zero 2 teN belated christmas dinner ♥

really nice to see them all again. its been over a year alr since im part of this big family. really love them alot. had this belated xmas celebration at JP and all of us did really exchanged presents. thanks bom for his company to walk all around trying to find a present. (hope our relationship is healthier now (: )i was supposed to get ruby a present but dk what to get so i got a teddy for her. and ryan got me a pretty cute bag! heeheee. was rather touched. HAHAHA. *shy* dont ask me why. !#$%^&*

OKAY. but BYE BYE 2009. i cant wait to spend my 2010! but this will mean that im growing older:'( kinda sad. i was just a 16y/o kid last year and im going to become legal soon. zzzzz.

weeks back, been hearing people saying that 2009 sucks. and i was like, errr? so far so good? there's ups and downs in everyone life and so far, we survived no?

my 2009 was full of ups and downs. ups include meeting the ppl in zero2ten, bbbffxi moving in, same everything with her, getting closer and more bonded with the bv people, meeting new friends in poly, and finally, meeting bom.

if i look back two months later and thinking of all these, its enough to make me a very happy girl alr.

but there's also downs like arif being in a further place and im absolutely guilty of taking ages to reply him. i ought to shoot myself and yet im not doing anything. how evil can i be? theres also a moment this year whereby i lost my direction and was really damn screwed up. i wasnt being a very kind and understanding daughter i could be and was rather rebellious. i screwed my studies too.

and towards the end of the year, i had a major battle with pms which im rather relieved its over now. im glad that menses came earlier then it should be and put an end to the horrible terrible vegetable feelings i had the last few days of 09. i was sparked by small tiny stuff and be excited one minute and crying my eyes out the next. stupid. its one of the worst i ever had. but im glad its over, at least for this month. but, am really drained now..

okay. been waiting to do this since forever..

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS HEEEHEEEHEEEEEEEEE.
1) STOP

a) skipping lectures.

b) switching off alarms and going back to sleep.

c) procrastinating.

d) sleeping in lectures.

e) disappointing bom.

f) wasting money.

2) DO

a) do tutorials

b) pay attention in lectures

c) sleep early (okay contradicting myself now)

d) upload pictures FAST

e) reply text instantly

f) be a better daughter

g) be a better friend

h) be a better girlfriend

i) be a better student

j) dance harder

k) get better gpa

l) saving for my license, dslr, career, iphone

m) keep closer contacts with arif

n) try my best to hold my tears

okay so far still rather achievable right? not that tough right?

but the saving part like a little tough. cause i cant seem to really save. have this bad habit of spending my money away once i got it. so im usually pathetic end of the month. but nehmind. CNY IS COMING HAAHAAAHAAAAAA.

okay so far so good. off to achieve 2c now. (scroll up if you dont understand octopuses)

2009-12-23T22:07:00.001+08:00

i miss the bv people.

miss how we used to spend our time althogether, talking crap and everything everything.

cant wait for the 2 months hols again before we can spend quality time tgt again..

saying words that i dont hear, saying things that i dont understand.

2009-12-21T02:32:00.011+08:00

random pictures.

i miss sharmini's horny dog, Ryu..

he got a sharp sense of smell which is able to detect blood coming from my body faster than i do.

who loves to smell my - and ass- ... okay picture says a thousand words.

damn long never go sharmini's house alr!! *hinthint* sharmini i will teach you how to tag tagboard SOOON!! hope you're having fun and take tons of pictures of beauties with your beauty ;);)

i feel like dogsing now:/ totally random.

taken during june hols. this chihuahua was a super cute and tame puppy in june. but different case in dec-.-

and this ultimate tiny chihuahua got knocked dead by a car :(

okay. just a reminder for myself. once again...

TO DOS

+ memorise mu stuff by tmr :'(

+ stretch 5 days per week

+ do 40 sit ups and backarch (whatever its called) each time i stretch (comes in a package)

+ oh do grand battements too

+ try to figure out whats wrong with the cd ASAP

+ edit and upload pictures of the FLB flea (srsly overdue:p ily bbbffxi saying this just to getaway HEEHEE )

+ OMG I THINK THERE'S 3 PROJECTS FML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! srsly no time for it.

+ study -.- (maybe i can do it when sch reopen? study harder? tsk. )

should be all? not that much right?

im pretty much very tired now. but refusing to go to bed consiously and unconsiously, like always.

had a damn freaking long day from classes early in the morning till afternoon before rushing down to meet jasmine and rush off to st james for the flea and impulse bought two clothings, which i kinda regret now, saw ada, joys and peiqi for awhile. missed peiqi ultimate lah its like damndamn long never see her alr. and after which we rushed back to esplanade to catch swan lake which we in turn missed half of the first act.

jasmine was damn (Y) i swear. her stamina and her passion for ballet had allowed her to ran all the way from city hall station to esplanade. when her new shoes almost killed her, she returned no mercy and took them off halfway and continued running while i was almost dying to catch up. HAHAH.

TELL YOU GUYS SOMETHING KAY. maybe you guys might know or realised it alr..

BUT. IM STILL GONNA SAY.

like what ive mentioned above.. im tired now. and when im tired, i either crap alot or remain silent. so im tired, and im blogging. this means crappy post okay. and i know jasmine you will be reading all this crap lor you little stalker. HAHAHAHA. yeah maybe there's wrong english here and there but whatever lah let me crap okay. HEEHEE.

i want more ballet classes :( i mean i want to try different teaching styles. any recomendation? :D

actually not just ballet, i want to be more rounded. but i dont have anymore spare time alr :( okay i was rather motivated by the swan lake performance earlier on. it was quite a good show and their standard was definitely above average and rather good. for more information please visit jasmine's blog (:

but, I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE THE SWAN LAKE MUSIC ULTIMATE LAHHHHH. yum~

this is a big world, that was a small town.

2009-12-16T16:47:00.002+08:00

hello. in the cyber cafe, again..

now the cafe is cleared of smoke, but full of mbengs (msia ah beng).. freaking scary please. ultra rowdy and loud. shall remember to wear my specs whenever i go to the cafe here again.

super irritated with myself for leaving my thumbdrive at home. badly wanted to post some pictures. its a lil scary to see long wordy posts.

AND AND. today marks the day i drove a bike myself w/o any help, to buy ice cream!!!! am rather proud of myself to remember how to drive even though its been years since my godfather taught me how to.

the satisfaction was 110%. ultimately shiok. its like without much effort, you can travel at high speed and feel the wind slapping your face and tugging your hair. i was like smiling alll the way while driving. was really tempted to go out to the main road and join the rest of the vehicles. but on second thoughts, the bike was really heavy for me and i have a lil difficulties crossing the road with even with a tricycle. so....

anw, the shiokness still lingers~ bbbffxi y0u can try to imagine my face.. heeehee. love you.

Seek and you will Find.

2009-12-15T12:38:00.006+08:00

Day 02 in msia..

currently inside the cybercafe with my cousins.

the age of the people here ranges from i think 5 to prob 40 y/o. mostly playing games. and i dont understand why they cant see the 'no smoking' sign. TSK. everything is okay until they smoke suckers. pc to the max. its not that i hate smokers or anything, im okay with smokers. just that i find it super irritating to have to keep holding my breath to not let those second hand smoke get into me.

okay. after years of experience surviving my hols in msia, there are some things i find myself doing everytime im here.

no1 - im very generous with my 'dao' face here (unlike in s'pore)

no2 - when people disturb me, if im alone, i'll give them my ultimate dao face or roll some eyes. if im with my cousins, we'll disturb them back or hurl vulgarities at them (hahaha! super no manners here)

no3 - spend alot of money on food from the moment you wake up (dim sum here damn good) till before you sleep (western damn cheap and good too!) (dont forget the ramily burger here is awesome)

no4 - take tons of random pictures of the scenery and myself :P im soo going to save for a dslr or maybe a semi-pro. the scenery here is too good to be missed (okay at least to me. the places here holds alot of memories.)

no5 - straighten my hair due to too much free time to do nothing here. and before coming here, my cousins and i just went to a salon to just get our hair washed because we got nothing much to do. the service is rather good and my hair feels so soft now~~~ i like~~~ HEEEHEEE.

no6 - go shopping if possible. BUT HERE ALSO NOTHING TO SHOP. if there's stuff to shop here, those stuff you can also get it in singapore too. so, zzzzz..

no7 - super ultra relaxed here. its nice in the sense that theres nothing you need to do here. so you can seriously stone, look at the sky or stare into space. if im really bored, i will just roam around and buy tidbits.

kinda miss singapore. miss ballet, bv peeps, sharmini, bbbffxi, bombom... but at the same time, i dont feel like going back to singapore to those hectic lifestyle. there's gonna be so many things i need to do once i return back to singapore.

after reaching singapore on saturday, i need to rush to ballet, then swanlake with bbbffxi (^^), then work, meet up with people, study and projects [i hate projects especially when there are a few of them :'( ] and christmas and new year is coming too..

okay im not going to think about them now. its gonna frustrate me so im going to take one step at a time, like i always did, and leave things till the last minute (: another bad habit of mine..

-edited-
okay this is really random..
awhile back, my cousins and i went to roam around and sorta picked fight with another bunch of boys. super daring pls those boys threw stones at us. the fight ended with one on each side crying. childish to the max but its fun in the sense that its the first time i got into something closest to a fight. HAHAHA. got this feeling that both of our groups have too much time on hand with nothing to do which explains the mini fight.

i dont really like lengthy post. but i cant help it for the moment. so, bear with me(:

2009-12-13T21:09:00.003+08:00

doubt i will have anytime to do a proper post cause i need to leave my house like nowwwww! procrastinate too much alr.

okay bbbffxi and bom i will miss you guys tons~ love you bye (:

just a short update^^

2009-12-13T01:55:00.010+08:00

just a little picture to show you how i look now.. :D

bunned my hair to meet bom bom just now due to seriously cmi hair from ballet. (saying this cause i seldom even tie my hair when i go out) but made me look rather mature :/ had an awesome great time with bom just now.

its been a loooong time since ive really updated my blog cause im rather busy nowadays.

busy is actually just an excuse for my poor management of time and the title bbbffxi gave to me as the queen of procrastination. she's the princess btw.

will be doing a proper post after ballet tmr.

and i will be leaving for msia like tmr evening and before i forget, i need to.

confirm when exactly i will be coming back

tell ms ang if im able to make it for swan lake

tell her im not able to make it for the coming tuesday class :/ opps

change muffin bedding and clean her cage

blog properly

upload all the pictures before i leave

pack up my stuff

bring study material there. imma nerd~

what else i cant think properly now. i hate it when im dozing off like several times but i just refuse to go to bed. stubborn stupid. and im down here blogging crap. just bear with me lah kay :D:D

am rather worried and a little stress for tmr cause i cant really remember my intermediate syllabus and ms ang is back tmr! hope she will be lenient and in a good mood. okay i better sleep like real soon to prevent my brain blocking and doing stupid things tmr~

BB!:)

if i could still remember clearly, after reincarnation, my unfulfilled dreams.

2009-12-05T00:45:00.006+08:00

there's warning signs everywhere, from everyone, yet i chose to walk into the danger zone.

yes, like what alg said, im old enough to take care and protect myself, i should know what to do.

period.

my eyes are screaming for the sight of you.

2009-11-27T02:37:00.017+08:00

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY DEAREST KIANHUAAAAAAA~ (hope you still like purple)

ive noticed that your brows are rather thick. ~~compared to mine~~ HAHAHAHAHAHA.

dont you find this picture cuteeeee?

NORRRRR~

shehnam or nani says she likes my back.. HAHA! super cute bunch of girls. getting to love my class more as we get closer slowly, semester by semester ^^ and dont forget the lecturers too!! DR A.L!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D

credits to nevin for this picture. i like~

say hi to ivan with his new braces! (i wanna shake head!)

sad thing didnt manage to meet pq and joys!

and...

to all girls and gays out there.. (not saying renjie is a gay) (i think he's straight) (heeehee)

RENJIE IS A SUPER SUPER NICE AND TALENTED GUY.

i dont think there will be anyone out there who wont dissolve into the air just by listening to him, playing the piano (okay exaggerating but you'll get it).

while we were boarding the bus after kh's bday celebration on our way home, i was taking out my coins and then all my mac thingy drop out. we were the first few to board the bus and there was quite a number of people behind us. so, i was like agrh.. damn paiseh. forget it and drop the coins in for my bus fare. and when i turn around, renjie was sort of half kneeling down at the entrance of the bus picking up all those game pieces for me..

THAT SCENE WAS REALLY SUPER AWWWW AND I WAS SERIOUSLY DAMN TOUCHED..

thanks renjie for everything man.

and lastly, happy 18 kian hua!!

congrats for being the first to be able to go clubbing and watch m18 legally!

but you dont look 18 lahhh! you look like an uncle. its a compliment okay.

uncle = cheng shou wen zhong hor! :D

wish you get high gpa and dream of your taeyeon frequently (:

omg friends of 5 years and counting! :D

thanks for being such a great friend. always bringing laughter to our group and even in class. err you were once the class rep right? but anw.. cant imagine our clique without you. it will be much more dead lah..

and at the same time, you're a mature MAN making the right decisions for the group. really glad to have you as a classmate throughout my secondary school life and to have to know you for 5 years.

at the same time, thanks for being such a caring MAN. had really alot of memories with you especially after o's. if i were to remove you from my life there will be a huge void in my memories. (something like that haaaaaa)

haiyo.. now we are all drifting one way or another, each of us busy with our own life and school. we are not meeting as much MUST MEET MUST MEET HANGOUT.

and now im really busy. its 2dec now. time really flies. happy onemthoneday bombom(: term test next week and i haven study not to even mention revise. ballet on weekends and tuesdays really takes up much of my time to study but still, im loving it. okay. im stressed now. i seriously need to pull my pathetic gpa up.

till then~

cause at the end of the day, we walk alone.

2009-11-21T23:59:00.015+08:00

SONATA WITH GIRLS TOTALLY LOVE IT. last thurday :P

totally love your camera lahh! even though you suan me by saying that my dig cam is like really nothing compared to yours. YOU GOOD AND YOU WAIT!

seriously enjoyed shopping and camwhoring with you guys. cant wait to go collect doodoo's leotard and repeat cycle again! :D

finally got my soft pointe too! (:

rest are in fb (:

FRIDAY THE THIRTEEN!

FIRST CNN DAY IN TP (:

went around the school selling popcorn muahchee and making newfriends i like~

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO ONG!

HAPPY 17th TO JUNWEI!

the ultra super duper skinny and fair like skeleton guy. dk you will read this not but still HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D eat more pls. even in sch you also like seldom see you eat lah omg.

dk what i did to my camera but the pictures are like damn cool lah.

agrh. feeling a little lost in life now right here.

i dk what i am doing and what did i do ( ive been procrastinating all the way doing almost nothing)(damn true when ada says that she is the princess of procrastination and the queen goes to me)

i need to study. term test is like 2 weeks away? i seriously need to pull my gpa up.

what am i doing with my time except to let it pass?

WHY AM I NOT STUDYING?! not only now, but everytime. i know instead of saying this i should go study like right now but i dk why my butt is still like seriously stuck here and typing shit here omg damn failure.

and im seriously sorry to arif. i feel like im neglecting him. i haven contact him for a long time. i dk what is wrong with me. everything is haywire. its not that i dont miss him and stuff. i still do.

damn it i hate procrastination yet im doing it ALL the time.

okay. i need to stop my hol mood alr and get some serious work done.

gonna try studying ballet awhile before i go to bed. no point crying over split milk i know im damn contradicting but whatever let me brainwash and scold myself.

words are just words until you meant what you said. and if you dont, it turns into lies.

okay so, im going to study now. goodluck to me.

can you hold my hands and be my guide.

2009-11-15T01:41:00.008+08:00

cant stop myself from saying AWWWWWWW~

HEEEHEE. i think this picture is damn cute lah i feel like pinching him now. hahaha!

chong jia ling love dominic gusti yudhi ongsky naga :D

life is rather happy and happening nowadays.

met sotong after ballet shopping and shopping with fangqi souyoung on thurs.

celebrated ong's 17th bday after ccn day on fri.

eco project thingy and working opposite sotong today.

ILIKE~

the past few days was really fun and memorable. made quite a few new friends and this is enough to make me a happy and excited girl alr. HAHA.

shall post the pictures sooon.

i should seriously go to sleep soon. ive been procrastinating since like forever i know. and ive been taking forever to reply text.

i will freak myself out oneday by doing this.

im feeling damn stressed now thinking about going to ballet tmr cause im super afraid for getting scoldings and not performing well. ohno. and i haven zap the music in my comp and send the girls feeling damn failure now. bought soft pointe but cant wear cause i haven sew the ribbons on yet.

haven revise through my work pray ms ang will be in good good mood to not scold me till my tears flow out again. (this is not ms ang's fault or anything related to her just that my skin very thin + pms/lack of sleep/stress/whatever tears just flow. how i wish i could cut off my tear ducts.)(but this is one damn good thing about ms ang. she's not fierce. she's just strict. but strict teachers produce good students mah. *hinthintwinkwink* hehee. but thanks to her, her students usually get distinction. NO PAIN NO GAIN RIGHT?!) intheend i was too stress till i woke up several times in the middle of the night to ensure that i did not overslept. sigh.

hope i can relax and not repeat my mistakes. i better perform well tmr so she will be happy to see my dance and wont scold me so badly. STRESS MAX.

and i haven even started on my jap presentation due on tuesday when they gave us the topic like one month ago. omg what have i been doing?! tsk. lagging behind so much alr. haven study too. lots of quizzes and tests are coming. i must must buck up!

gonna hardcore study tmr after class. i can do it! just hope that i dont procrastinate like what im doing now can alr.

gonna sleep after revising my work for tmr:'( gonna grow eyebags again. (lopez say my eyes like kena beaten or sth like that lor! i need to get eyecream soon)

we're saying, for the sake for saying.

2009-11-09T21:42:00.007+08:00

HAPPY 20TH TO MY ONE AND ONLY SISTER! ♥ on 8nov2009

my sister pretty right!!? (:

had fun ktv-ing in party world at shenton way on friday. now then i know shenton way is in tanjong pagar and ive been there like so many time not knowing its shenton way-.-

THE THIRD SPACE SERIES.

this was like dk how many fridays ago. went to support shouyi at the esplanade. i soooooo love esplanade lah. its like so artsy fartsy and the smell and everything is NICE :D

my face was blurred so it looked like a retard.

ohyah special super thanks to xinyi, bbbffxi and kevin for helping me to take my syllabus books throughout especially kevin who volunteered his bag and bbbffxi to carry half of it on our way home. love you guys! :D

shouyi did a great job as usual! :D and his complexion is really ultimate (Y). its like flawless lah! like so smooth and fair and everything. *secretly jealous*

my whole body especially shoulders are like aching thanks doing lab report till like 5plus am in the morning. need to get a mc tmr due to turning off 4 alarms unconsiously and missing the maths tut. agrh. i think i might need to burn midnight oil again there's quiz like tmr and i have not started on anything yet.

omg feeling damn emo nemo now i miss bv ppl and my sotong. menses gonna come like real soon i know cause ive been eating alot and having pms. agrh if only premenstrual syndrome include the eating alot part and exclude the emo nemo part.

OKAY OFF TO STUDY IMMA NERD 8D

ohyahh! something to be happy about!! :D

rainbowsandheart is one y/o alr!! omg lahhhhh!! time pass DAMN fast after o's. tsk. i dont like it. its like after o's so happening and fun and it feels like ive completed o's like recently only. means im growing older too. eee. i dont like. but in this one year, alot of stuff happened. okay i think i better save my grandmother story for like prob new year. HAHA. STUDEHHHH~

btw, i prefer it to be rainbow-sand-heart. not rainbows-and-heart ^^

okay. for the last time. im off to study :D